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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 24 Jun 2015

    Report: Only .00003% Of Things That Happen Actually Matter http://onion.com/1Hcs8sf pic.twitter.com/J8LYYXqD1U

    6:15 AM - 24 Jun 2015
    • 502 Retweets
    • 697 Likes
    • Abe Maingi Pablo Hunter Johnson Lew is Dead (on the Inside) Christian Hudson joe Michael J. Oghia E J Jenny Durgin
    16 replies 502 retweets 697 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. TeraEuro‏ @TeraEuro 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        . @TheOnion thx cc @msgbi @kaffeebeimir @egghat @rkeuper @luebberding one of the best comments on/about twitter ever

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. vera bunse‏ @kaffeebeimir 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TeraEuro

        @TeraEuro Was ist an etwas Offensichtlichem so toll? @msgbi @egghat @rkeuper @luebberding

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. egghat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯‏ @egghat 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @kaffeebeimir

        @kaffeebeimir @TeraEuro @msgbi @rkeuper @luebberding T-Shirt: Only 0,000003% of things that happen actually matter. You're one of them :)

        1 reply 1 retweet 3 likes
      5. vera bunse‏ @kaffeebeimir 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @egghat

        @egghat Hübsch. Mach mal. @TeraEuro @msgbi @rkeuper @luebberding

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Funny and Nice Guy‏ @had11n 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @BenJammin73 as if that last one actually mattered

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. decapitated cabinet head‏ @BenJammin73 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @had11n

        @hayden_rapgod @TheOnion never change, Hayden

        1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
      4. Funny and Nice Guy‏ @had11n 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @BenJammin73

        @BenJammin73 @TheOnion thanks ben

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Tony バロッニ‏ @samurai_jacked 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion More like "Whatever affects me most". Thats the human mindset sadly.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Ed Hines‏ @edhined 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion I thought this was a parody site and not actually a truth based research site? Lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. Punished Deh‏ @MasterDeh 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @ffsArsenaI a car doesn't matter?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Punished Deh‏ @MasterDeh 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @MasterDeh

        @TheOnion @ffsArsenaI or it matters, fs. Need sleep

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Bill Bixby‏ @number5_thetoad 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Sad but true.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Panda Berkham‏ @PandaBerk 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion It doesnt matter!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Kathy C‏ @jakatam 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Harry Mills‏ @HarryMills25 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Now thats a percentage I think we can all be proud of

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Mister Mom‏ @martymartin12 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Thomas‏ @tom_vanders 24 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion CC: @SVB_323 @thatkry

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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