Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 12 Jun 2015

    Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker http://onion.com/1Qs1eAG pic.twitter.com/smp04TBUXB

    6:00 AM - 12 Jun 2015
    • 341 Retweets
    • 741 Likes
    • daya Hanna Horvath Kathy De Oliveira Mimilop 🇹🇿 Drew Harding goth shoplifter Kate McQuaid John S Augustine jpmccy
    17 replies 341 retweets 741 likes
      1. Tolstoy‏ @Bolshoibabushka 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @jarmand37 this type is NOT to be trusted

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Matthew Titus‏ @pastormtitus 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @nosajeel99 RT @TheOnion: Coworker Who Went To Gym This Morning A Chipper Little Fucker http://onion.com/1Qs1eAG pic.twitter.com/6RRnmXSMt3

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steven Fisher‏ @KingslyFishao 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @mchlspada4a

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Benjamin Fisher‏ @bennyfish19 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @KingslyFishao @Nic_Lauterbach @FantasticFerch @jcoleman_24

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. RamblinRedReport‏ @gabaldon_a 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion ...why do you cuss on social media? Make you feel big?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Bridget Kelly‏ @Bridget728 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @tracycoppola is this you?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Tracy Coppola‏ @tracycoppola 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @Bridget728

        @Bridget728 @TheOnion 😂😂😂😂I think it is 🙈

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Patrick Moore‏ @psaymoore 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @TylerDoehring

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Annette Bernazzoli‏ @atbern53 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @daftwilson

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Joseph Mason‏ @LordNishar 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Working out releases endorphins. It's a natural high. Not as good as hash, but still pretty good.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Alex Welling‏ @A_Swelling 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @devinmcshane

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Steve Kaminski‏ @kablinski 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @BQuig315 haha this is great. @jrapke30 is definitely the one showing up at the end.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Bill Quigley‏ @BQuig315 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @kablinski

        @kablinski @jrapke30 I work with a few of the chipper people no clue how they do it

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Steve Kaminski‏ @kablinski 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @BQuig315

        @BQuig315 @jrapke30 definitely more manageable if you start work later. Just no way I'm showing up at a gym at 5am.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Michael Kennedy‏ @soundguy17 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @jennifergardy Hey, it's us on the road!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. haunted f-150‏ @tylerruck 12 Jun 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @Luquishaevans @jordansbeck17

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info