@TheOnion Congratulations!!! @BethStern @HowardStern ... @Vashier1 @Bethsucks1 @bringbackjackie @the_real_mr_X__
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@TheOnion One thing's for sure, American Pharaoh is gonna get laid a lot.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Change official thoroughbred birth date to April 1. Will result in healthier foals!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion@smaze94357 How does a horse wear three crowns at once? Wouldn't it be hard to run without them falling off?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion "I enjoyed the animal slave doing what it was bred to do, and look forward to his bred slaves doing it, too."Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion One word... Horseshit.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Says the horse, "Let me get this straight, I run real fast and you bring the mares to me? Yes? Let's do this."Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion He should name his first offspring Mickey Mantle and have a nice retirement nodding off on Ketamine.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion My Jello snacks couldn't be prouder!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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