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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 10 Apr 2015

    Senior Citizen Keeps Mind Active By Contemplating Death http://onion.com/1yjjT9J pic.twitter.com/6QWPL1EIav

    3:25 PM - 10 Apr 2015
    • 207 Retweets
    • 363 Likes
    • cicely‼️ King Paimœrnst [E11] 💚 Comedy on State Bobby Bair Juul Embiid il336 Chris Copen Conor O'Carroll Belle Faith
    14 replies 207 retweets 363 likes
      1. Benjamin Rayner‏Verified account @IhateBenRayner 10 Apr 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @MikeUsinger Why wait until you're a senior?

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Clubs on Xbox‏ @CrosbyKing 10 Apr 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @xraydewd maybe contemplating some exercise will help her lose weight

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Ms Forger‏ @mizforger 10 Apr 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Another way to sharpen your mind: estimating how long it takes to turn into dust once you're dead. STAYING ALIVE!

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. il336‏ @il336 10 Apr 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Nothing keeps the grim reaper away better than messaging him on MySpace.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. my wife left me‏ @dickpaysrent420 10 Apr 2015
        Replying to @creightonlaw77

        @blcllc49 @TheOnionpic.twitter.com/sfyZU3Hkv1

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Melissa Portan‏ @MelissaPortan 11 Apr 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion didn't even read it but laughed. That title!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Duke9555‏ @duke9555 10 Apr 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion The Onion tries to remain relevant by stealing from old Mad Magazines

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. William J. Journey‏ @Alaskanbushman 10 Apr 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Master your fear and let death be a surprise. There are much more pleasant things to think about, than contemplating death.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dylan Forbes‏ @MexicanNinja14 10 Apr 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Senior Citizen Keeps Mind Active By Contemplating Death http://onion.com/1yjjT9J  pic.twitter.com/cgBR4bkeMo” @David_Macaskill

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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