@TheOnion Hey!, Is that a picture of Valchek from The Wire?
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@TheOnion I want to stick around and terrify my great-grandchildren.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion keep breathing is a favourite of mine.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion WARNING don't talk to the married perv next to you on the treadmill, that's what will extend your life, look at him he's a perv!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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“
@TheOnion: Here are some things that you can do to extend your lifespan: http://onion.com/1AKEAWn pic.twitter.com/3wRJ5xeOdc” eat 1273 carrots
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OMG I'M DYING



“@TheOnion: Here are some things that you can do to extend your lifespan: http://onion.com/1AKEAWn pic.twitter.com/MiewWG0KmJ”
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@TheOnion thanks for the tips! Seeing as I plan on living forever it's greatly appreciated.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion @churchie30Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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“
@TheOnion: Here are some things that you can do to extend your lifespan: http://onion.com/1AKEAWn pic.twitter.com/D0fFh2XRR2” I like the last 2.
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@TheOnion Breathe in; breathe out. Repeat.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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“
@TheOnion: Here are some things that you can do to extend your lifespan: http://onion.com/1AKEAWn pic.twitter.com/BSPcDiRBOg”
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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