Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 14 Jan 2015

    "Her father was particularly upset at first, but now I think he’s learned to accept it." http://onion.com/1wcqqLH pic.twitter.com/RjoqAu2Grq

    11:20 AM - 14 Jan 2015
    • 743 Retweets
    • 1,010 Likes
    • Angel Rosas E;R PLEASE KILL ME NOW Caitlyn Marquez Kyra Santana Davide Ds xgnico101545 Sam Nelson Akash Puranik
    41 replies 743 retweets 1,010 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Nardio.net‏ @Nardionet 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion But will her friends accept this? No... No. I see lots of forced lunch introductions and sit downs over drinks. Really hun???

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Nardio.net‏ @Nardionet 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @Nardionet

        @TheOnion WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE GRANDCHILDREN!

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Dane Roper‏ @sorope 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This goes for all of us, and Bill! @hastings_jim @gavinesq @tbvike RT: @TheOnion: http://onion.com/1wcqqLH pic.twitter.com/ZFEIRp6sEl

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Madeline Petersen‏ @madpetersen 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ajpetebyu "@TheOnion: "Her father was upset, but now I think he’s learned to accept it." http://onion.com/1wcqqLH  pic.twitter.com/AfOvr58zzG”

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Stuart R. Owens‏ @StuartROwens 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        .@TheOnion my in laws went through a similar adjustment with me. I'm thankful that they handled it with grace.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mick D‏ @MichelleDaviso6 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion This is a step in the right direction for mixed-attractive couples. It's about time that parents start becoming more tolerant.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Barrylad in a Mask  💀 🔪‏ @TheBarrylad 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        .@CrawrDeBrawr @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. 95' Ford Explorer‏ @a_trane13 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @LilMunoz11

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Daniel Muñoz‏ @LilMunoz11 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @a_trane13

        @a_trane13 @TheOnion It'll be relatable to me in the future

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Jonathan Dean‏Verified account @JonathanDean_ 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Every Hollywood romcom, ever “@TheOnion: Her father was upset at first, but he’s accepted it. http://onion.com/1wcqqLH  pic.twitter.com/eOvfRMGOtD”

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Dane Visscher‏ @danevisscher 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @jpontheradio hey @joshcust! there's still hope for you and your ugly mug!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Robert Champion‏ @RobertDesmohead 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @MichaelPascoe01 He's a modern miracle from the VB add

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jenna Owen‏ @JRDunk22 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion "She would love their children no matter how average-looking they are" HAHAHA

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Harry Seaward‏ @rhintz66 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion her beauty is skin deep....his ugly is to the bone

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. canuck1000‏ @canuck10001 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion where do you guys come up with this stuff. Brilliant

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bryan Lemos‏ @bryanalemos 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hilarious! RT: “@TheOnion: "Her father was particularly upset at first, but now I think he’s learned to accept it."http://onion.com/1wcqqLH 

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Matt Messerly‏ @M3SSERLY 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @mccastriota lol

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Todd Packer‏ @deangel0v1ckers 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @M3SSERLY

        @M3SSERLY @TheOnion I lost weight, I don't look like that anymore... For real haha, I'm back down to my hockey/soccer weight: 210

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Matt Messerly‏ @M3SSERLY 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @deangel0v1ckers

        @mccastriota i wish I was 210. New year of hoops 2015 start stretching

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Todd Packer‏ @deangel0v1ckers 14 Jan 2015
        Replying to @M3SSERLY

        @M3SSERLY I'll be back in May

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info