Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 31 Oct 2014

    Report: 80% Of All Traffic Accidents Caused By Drivers Gawking At Shirtless Hunks http://onion.com/13peyzc pic.twitter.com/5Ebce6rGPI

    11:40 AM - 31 Oct 2014
    • 212 Retweets
    • 262 Likes
    • Mason Baldwin Robin Collis Adriana Stephen Sara Kingsman QuiltSource Canada Blackfish Charters Teresa Wite Lucy Thorndike dana💀
    20 replies 212 retweets 262 likes
      1.  👹 Kill Wiesenfeld  👹‏Verified account @BATHSmusic 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion don't i fuuuuucking know it

        0 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Chris Chaffee‏ @cchaffee84 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @leestarr4 @TheOnion: 80% Of Traffic Accidents Caused By Drivers Gawking At Shirtless Hunks http://onion.com/13peyzc pic.twitter.com/at8nrLIGde

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Doncent Adultman‏ @Superdonaldo 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @jHaugen127 totally true, I had to replace my bumper because I saw Jon on the sidewalk

        0 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. T. Sardinia‏ @THE_REAL_SARD 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Report: 80% Of All Traffic Accidents Caused By Drivers Gawking At Shirtless Hunks" @JoePGorman and I are sorry @ladies

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Timber ⚡️Carini‏ @TimberCarini 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion This is exactly what happened to @pursedreams today

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kelsey Mannard‏ @ThatKelsMann 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @Kendarrrr94

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. UDT Capital‏ @UDTCap 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @undeployed >80% on San Vicente circa 2008 MT @TheOnion 80% Of Accidents Caused By Drivers Gawking At Shirtless Hunkshttp://onion.com/13peyzc 

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ex-GOP Ron Pratt‏ @Ronp501 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @VictoriaGP96 Tori- be careful!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sam Wright‏ @Green3ggsand5am 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Report: 80% Of All Traffic Accidents Caused By Drivers Gawking At Shirtless Hunks http://onion.com/13peyzc  pic.twitter.com/MdcGN2ngzq”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. MainStr Car life‏ @Main_Str 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Karl Pilkington - Bullshit Man says it best https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lRIQGU2RRk …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Amanda Burden‏ @fabburden 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @KelleyArmstrong hahaha! 💪😎

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Johnny V‏ @JVdeviant 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion good thing I can never cause car accidents...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. cows two‏ @cowstwo 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion I apologize for nothing

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Schwa Schmidt‏ @SchwaSchmidt 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion that #Seinfeld episode. "Been practicing for twenty years, and you're listening to a caddy!" #publicflaunting

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. blp‏ @b__l__p 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnionpic.twitter.com/J7ATVrmncD

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ali Sleinad-Stone‏ @alipooski 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion I WOULD GAWK THAT

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sweet Wolf‏ @opalthursday 31 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion *Sigh*. Were there only so many shirtless hunks. Reality is shirtless lunks.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info