Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 15 Oct 2014

    "Women deserve to have the option to postpone motherhood until they feel fully prepared." http://onion.com/1u65J3d pic.twitter.com/3jINAFmfY4

    12:35 PM - 15 Oct 2014
    • 339 Retweets
    • 254 Likes
    • Emily Halligan merne  merne Maggie Garfield Erica Anderson skry spooky egg 🧟‍♀️ Ruby Stephanie Tapia 中澤村茸仁(ECO福)☆彡遠距離時間❧
    21 replies 339 retweets 254 likes
      1. Ryan Comfort‏ @Rcomfort94 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion theres another option for that which is a lot cheaper. its called using protection.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. tijuaneada.‏ @tijuaneada 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @Mercutio_M jajajajaja MOLA mil millones de veces a la décima potencia.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Mercutio‏ @Mercutio_M 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @tijuaneada

        @tijuaneada @TheOnion Ojalá congerlarlos los fines de semana y cuando cierran las guardes.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. tijuaneada.‏ @tijuaneada 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @Mercutio_M

        @Mercutio_M @TheOnion Y un botón de fastforward que se salte la pubertad y la adolescencia, URGE. #peticiónseria

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Marfi‏ @FromMe2Ewe 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion "freezing a female employee’s husband until he is emotionally prepared to be a father" LMAO

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Debra Brown-Thompson‏ @Smartkid3 20 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Robert Morton‏ @PhotoMort 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @auntieloca It's a natural extension!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Meg Hourihan‏ @megnut 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @mulegirl bwahahahahahaha. Perfect.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Fantastic Mammals‏ @FantasticMammal 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion now you can "Lean In" so hard that you can't distinguish the corporate ass from your mouth!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Olle Hall‏ @Hallolle 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Haha. RT @TheOnion: "Women deserve to have the option to postpone motherhood until they ... http://onion.com/1u65J3d  pic.twitter.com/TXJaHCFo6E”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ryan Zeitz‏ @RyanZeitz93 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Will the children be frozen à la #Disney?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. patrick swayze‏ @patrickswayze5 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion w whose sperm though?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Marco Mo‏ @Marco_Mo 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion wait... is that Michael Cera???

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. undívaga 🥄‏ @undivaga 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Monica Oriol likes this. @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Annie AllASEA‏ @AnnieallASEA 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Did you mean UNborn children LOL

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lusankya‏ @SeriousLus 15 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @AdebisiSC omfg, i think I`m about to puke

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info