Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 3 Oct 2014

    Popular New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter What http://onion.com/Z1HsTF pic.twitter.com/5405OnRSOK

    7:30 PM - 3 Oct 2014
    • 2,160 Retweets
    • 1,690 Likes
    • Swapnil Kachhara Brent Nally Kellen Chris Connolly Mamanaja Rakesh Tripathi Matty C Shirley Stewart Thompson
    87 replies 2,160 retweets 1,690 likes
      1. Boon 🎃mi 👻l‏ @benomial 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Popular New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter What http://onion.com/Z1HsTF  @AisforAnne

        0 replies 2 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ethan Lipman‏ @etlipman 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lol @TheOnion: Popular New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter What http://onion.com/Z1HsTF pic.twitter.com/Y3aNczRtY2

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Gillian Horvath‏Verified account @GillianHorvath 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Treaddesker @craigengler will appreciate this: RT @TheOnion New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Dayhttp://onion.com/Z1HsTF 

        1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Michael Chang‏ @changesq 7 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And post about the run on social media. RT @TheOnion: Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matterpic.twitter.com/aubPHU5h2r

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Max Tomlinson‏ @max_tomlinson 9 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @carmendelessio If they can get 1 million for a 'yo app', this is a no-brainer

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. jaime macip‏ @emiajpicam 8 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @elonmusk

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nims‏ @nimzter 6 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: Popular New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter What http://onion.com/Z1HsTF pic.twitter.com/U7aObxoRiD

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Matthew Simoneau‏ @matthewsim 5 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion The map on this fake app is showing my neighborhood in Jamaica Plain. I live just below the "m" in "You ran 5 miles today!"

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jo Schofield‏ @SchofieldJo 4 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: Popular New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter What http://onion.com/Z1HsTF pic.twitter.com/HGX386quP9

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. SneakersForTheSole‏ @Sneaks4theSole 4 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😂 RT “@TheOnion: New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter What http://onion.com/Z1HsTF  pic.twitter.com/btpgr8WkP4”

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Michael Lee  🏳️‍🌈‏ @Wine_andProses 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @shawynlee we need this, dawg. “@TheOnion: Popular New Exercise App... http://onion.com/Z1HsTF  pic.twitter.com/tLpL45j26m”

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bufkinite‏ @Bufkinite 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Just WOW! This is right up my pal @vic_lyn33 's alley! Great work!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dexter Meyers‏ @dxdxter 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Popular New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day http://onion.com/Z1HsTF  pic.twitter.com/OT2ktXxG1J” @JessicaMDeWitt

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Gene Lourance‏ @genelourance 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @elonmusk funny shit!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. The Movie Snob‏ @TheMovieSnob247 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion You guys are on a roll this week lol. Great stuff :)

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Gabriel‏ @GabePinto 3 Oct 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion can't wait to tell all my facebook friends.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Stessa Cohen‏ @stessacohen 31 Dec 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Exercise App Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles/Day No Matter What http://onion.com/Z1HsTF  pic.twitter.com/q507IeU28x” - finally useful app

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info