Good news! “@TheOnion: New alert system to warn Americans in 10-mile radius of an NFL player http://onion.com/YTvNqA pic.twitter.com/16UKDxj7OZ”
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Good news! “@TheOnion: New alert system to warn Americans in 10-mile radius of an NFL player http://onion.com/YTvNqA pic.twitter.com/16UKDxj7OZ”


“@TheOnion: New alert system to warn Americans who are in 10-mile radius of an NFL player http://onion.com/YTvNqA pic.twitter.com/K9Eumg7Yj5”
“@TheOnion: New text-based alert system to warn Americans who are in 10-mile radius of an NFL player http://onion.com/YTvNqA ”
“@TheOnion: New text-based alert system. NFL player within 10 miles! http://onion.com/YTvNqA pic.twitter.com/dZK2c8LEkr” Couldn't resist....
“@TheOnion: New text-based alert system to warn Americans who are in 10-mile radius of an NFL player http://onion.com/YTvNqA ” 


@TheOnion @edgarbautista Was waiting for a hide yo kids, hide yo wife
.@TheOnion @wtrebella Hide yo kids.. hide yo wives...
@TheOnion hahahaha
@NrgCorHurt New text-based alert system to warn Americans who are in 10-mile radius of an NFL player: http://onion.com/YTvNqA via @TheOnion
@TheOnion @ZosynPriest Hide yo' kids...
@TheOnion also warns their wives and children when players are within 1 mile.
Lmaoooo RT @TheOnion: New text-based alert system to warn Americans who are in 10-mile radius of an NFL player pic.twitter.com/whhRHvMQ5w”
“@TheOnion: New text-based alert system to warn Americans who are in 10-mile radius of an NFL player pic.twitter.com/ItAG3asKL6” we need this
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