Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 6 Aug 2014

    Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflexhttp://onion.com/1ntCbJg 

    6:30 PM - 6 Aug 2014
    • 542 Retweets
    • 375 Likes
    • Sean Mock Calan Chandler jojo c-word Marnie Overton Climate Conscious Ronald Smith Enid Zentelis Mandy Line Jorge
    18 replies 542 retweets 375 likes
      1. paulgnewton‏ @paulgnewton 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion for a fake news story, this is almost 100% truth! #truth #news

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. John Elder‏ @John_Bird_Elder 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion YEAH! AND IT'S YOUR FAULT ONION!!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bonnie Stewart‏ @CTCPAbonnie 7 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflexhttp://onion.com/1ntCbJg 

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Cheryl Lee Gravitt‏ @Birdonwing 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Truth.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Matt Copeland‏ @MrCoachCopeland 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflex http://onion.com/1ntCbJg ” Sometimes @TheOnion nails it!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mister Cline‏ @El_Cline 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflex http://onion.com/1ntCbJg ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ronald Smith‏ @rucker_ronald 8 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflex http://onion.com/1ntCbJg ”always has been for those who cannot accept they may be Human

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. killall -9 khaxan‏ @khaxan 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        LOL! "@TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflex http://onion.com/1ntCbJg ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. rEN‏ @REN_ARTWORK 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion "Who the F@ck is rEN?" new oil paintings by rEN http://renswork.com 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mike Laven‏ @Mike_Laven 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hahahahahaha RT“@TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflex http://onion.com/1ntCbJg ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nicky G.‏ @NG_MadRed 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion This was oddly on cue...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Goin C. Cypher‏ @1ncognegr0 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @theonion Blame'em Barack aka http://youtube.com/watch?v=GLNlhZJJU-E … @barackobama

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Brad McCloud‏ @McCloudOutLoud 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion it's only because you made people blame you...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. A. Chastain Ek May‏ @acekmay 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Accurate, as per usual. RT @TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflexhttp://onion.com/1ntCbJg 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rob Rosenberger‏ @vmyths 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Blame everyone BUT the people in charge of your security -> RT @TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflexhttp://onion.com/1ntCbJg 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Anarchy Adams‏ @AnarchyAdams 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion So THAT'S why I'm so quick to cast blame. I knew it wasn't really my fault--it's just a reflex!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Becca B.‏ @CallMeKilgore 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #FingerPointing is my #favorite."@TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflex http://onion.com/1ntCbJg ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. César Loránti‏ @LionheartCesar 6 Aug 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "@TheOnion: Study Finds Blame Now Fastest Human Reflex http://onion.com/1ntCbJg " lol.....-.-

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info