Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 11 Jul 2014

    LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games http://onion.com/1r46CwL pic.twitter.com/TUAEffPmTf

    12:31 PM - 11 Jul 2014
    • 1,564 Retweets
    • 919 Likes
    • Corey Boeschenstein Daniel Poneman Johnny Harold Chambers Yolanda M. Mason Cole Bishop Shahzaib Akbar Roby Clark Jack Droppers
    40 replies 1,564 retweets 919 likes
      1. American Citizen‏ @directaudrey 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lebron James is an idiot - cry baby lost his obama pacie & blankie again. @TheOnion @stephenkruiser

        0 replies 2 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nicole L.‏ @Nicole_Larrauri 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games http://onion.com/1r46CwL  pic.twitter.com/v5t30QmzEY”

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. carlos‏ @losknows 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games http://onion.com/1r46CwL pic.twitter.com/FuOEgoi898

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Angela Watercutter‏Verified account @WaterSlicer 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Real LoL RT@TheOnion: LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games http://onion.com/1r46CwL pic.twitter.com/DWLv04j1pC

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Weeb  🤠  🔜 TwitchCon‏ @Lv99Weeb 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Not four, not five...

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Lord Bishop‏ @Bishop_BBC 12 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @nickicomelately I say LeBron wins a ring in CLE and in NYC before he's done.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lawrence Amedee ‏ @amedeejr 12 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion This is a good thing! This is right! Hooray for the King of basketball!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Team Doctors‏ @teamdoctors1 12 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion If he was truly interested in the team he would have stayed with them. Jordan had times where he SHOULD HAVE LEFT but he didn't

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. RedDawgWillTri‏ @reddawg999 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games http://onion.com/1r46CwL pic.twitter.com/BrvmUGA3J7

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. greg dunphy‏ @grgdnph 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion When the going gets tough, the tough QUIT and leave.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tony Tiger‏ @RLTW609 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion We won't be in the playoffs, butt.... LOL Reallllly! And all this for Min rookie salary, right!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Melissa Mendoza‏ @sismelis44 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games http://onion.com/1r46CwL  pic.twitter.com/5OLndWQTET” LOLZ

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Kevin K. White‏ @kevdogwhite 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @clsmooth13 why the bitterness? LBJ gave 4 straight finals appearances etc. and you're still bitter? Smh. People want slavery

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Chad Lawrence‏ @clsmooth13 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @kevdogwhite

        @kevdogwhite just clowning around Every1 here knew he was just a rented player. But in my opinionIf you arent with us then you're against us

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Nate Just‏ @AHSILLINI32 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion you guys tried a headline just like this when the bears re-signed Brandon Marshall. Get new material.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tom Slusher‏ @pupslush 11 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: LeBron James Guarantees Cleveland Will Win Numerous Regular Season Games http://onion.com/1r46CwL ” Shots fired!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info