Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 9 Jul 2014

    In Focus: Dolphin Spends Amazing Vacation Swimming With Stockbroker http://onion.com/1zpYWHr pic.twitter.com/Gn2ZUBIZa0

    12:22 PM - 9 Jul 2014
    • 538 Retweets
    • 532 Likes
    • Dhaval Gupta Shane CaylinCervetti Joji Ryan Susanna Wright priya joseph Daniel Fell Carrie
    32 replies 538 retweets 532 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Andrew Hickey  🤯‏Verified account @andrewmhickey 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dolphin Spends Amazing Vacation Swimming With Stockbroker http://onion.com/1zpYWHr  pic.twitter.com/LFpmttITxN via @TheOnion #tbex

        2 replies 4 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. J Ryan Roehl‏ @JRyanRoehl 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Loboinatux "@TheOnion: In Focus: Dolphin Spends Amazing Vacation Swimming With Stockbroker http://onion.com/1zpYWHr  pic.twitter.com/fLDUagqAZr”

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Samantha Honeyman‏ @SamHoneyman 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nice find @cookiesandgold “@TheOnion: In Focus: Dolphin Spends Amazing Vacation Swimming W... http://onion.com/1zpYWHr  pic.twitter.com/2JSD2JABjN”

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. cookies & gold stars‏ @cookiesandgold 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @SamHoneyman

        @SamHoneyman Great, isn't it?! At first, I thought someone was sharing something on AUS '11. Nope. @JariMattiWRC is a weird stock photo guy!

        3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Gemma Hallam‏ @badhedgehog 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @cookiesandgold

        @cookiesandgold @SamHoneyman oh my days, @TheOnion actually used the photo of @JariMattiWRC – I thought you were jesting!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. cookies & gold stars‏ @cookiesandgold 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @badhedgehog

        @badhedgehog @SamHoneyman @TheOnion @JariMattiWRC I knew people would think it was me :-) But, like "Hülkenberg", it was just a great find.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. HOLZMANimal‏ @RickHolzmANIMAL 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Dolphin Spends Amazing Vacation Swimming With Stockbroker http://onion.com/1zpYWHr  pic.twitter.com/obAsmNbw4y”

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ross Brown‏ @bob_dole75 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @gaie77

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Eleanor Wright‏ @elliephant90 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Dolphin Spends Amazing Vacation Swimming With Stockbroker http://onion.com/1zpYWHr  pic.twitter.com/vIoIKuXCDW” 😆

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Morgan Day‏ @morganday 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @SimakisTweets @nikkiferrell Swimming with dolphins. That is all.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Time2Feast‏ @Time2Feast 31 Dec 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @JoshDSmith9 your dolphin picture was way better...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Olivier Dehousse‏ @seeknexceed 10 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion w/niceTIMES financial app track expenses (w/33 FOREX) and collect short info w/OCR @ http://bit.ly/TQyYf3 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. MyqueenTyler‏ @Howl0722 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion hello

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. John G. Young‏ @JohnGYoung2 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @chriscaple Brilliant.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. TGrace‏ @ovee981 9 Jul 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion this photo reminds me of the pool scene from Showgirls. :(

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info