Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 13 Jun 2014

    "Today we subdued and chipped a beautiful white male earning $60,000 annually." http://onion.com/1kTluu5 pic.twitter.com/BzSV1FmTjD

    9:47 AM - 13 Jun 2014
    • 830 Retweets
    • 550 Likes
    • PatriotAsANATIONALISTMother ⭐⭐⭐🇺🇸 Kyle Cook Erin P. Dooley Sinna geit Ian Macdonald Nadia Alexander Lauren Taylor Jason Mashak 📡 BrianHobbs
    26 replies 830 retweets 550 likes
      1. Death Rowe‏ @lowericon 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Having done my share of marketing work, I can vouch this is not far from the truth @TheOnion: http://onion.com/1kTluu5  pic.twitter.com/KpiwwGOdE7”

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dewayne Havens‏ @polyphonicpyro 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: "Today we subdued and chipped a beautiful white male earning $60,000 annually." http://onion.com/1kTluu5  pic.twitter.com/zFTSt3P0S6”

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Gabe Ormsby‏ @gormsby 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion If it's a choice between that and a web popup, I'll take the dart.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jim‏ @RIJimmyB 14 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @wzlxnewsgirl

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 13th level Wizard‏ @Aethylred 14 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @RusselNorman Ah, that @TheOnion piece is on PayWave?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Daniel oxley‏ @oxley1dan 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. #underground‏ @Tweetoutnow 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @lailaharre was the brand of dart FB, google, yahoo?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Patrick Luce‏ @DorkyAwesomeGuy 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This wasn't mentioned @ #IRCE: More Corporations Using Tag And Release Programs to Study American Consumers-@TheOnion http://ow.ly/xZIOv 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bob Mellon‏ @BobMellon 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Awesome. “@TheOnion: "Today we subdued and chipped a beautiful white male earning $60,000 annually." http://onion.com/1kTluu5 ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Donna D'Amore‏ @ohdonnad14 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion So awesome!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Spring Moore‏ @simee 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @unclebrendan OMG, thank you for the laugh.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nina Kjarval‏ @NinaSoley 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I think I've found the new research breakthrough @dogsbollocks5 : @TheOnion:http://onion.com/1kTluu5 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Regina Marie‏ @regibaby67 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @xor *ouch* it hurts to laugh....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Desiree Brougher‏ @Desiree_PAR 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion This is probably what's next for those who don't want to take those "surveys."

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Petti Libelle @ FWA‏ @FlyLikeAGShep 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @CrexonOtter Not even gonna lie...I thought that said seduce

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Cyrus Sussman‏ @CyrusSussman 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        too real #cookies MT @TheOnion "Today we subdued and chipped a beautiful white male earning $60,000 annually."pic.twitter.com/8j2J4Rmo8H

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Grant Garrison‏ @garrisongrant 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Best handle out there RT @TheOnion: "Today we subdued and chipped a beautiful white male earning $60,000 annually."pic.twitter.com/1q1kbDfsvu

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. BenvAZA‏ @BenvAZA 13 Jun 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: "Today we subdued and chipped a beautiful white male earning $60,000 annually." http://onion.com/1kTluu5  pic.twitter.com/Qo6YjFgmIc”😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info