Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 May 2014

    Psychologists believe Ohio's new method of execution eases mental burden on prison employees http://onion.com/1nkEWye pic.twitter.com/XTMFqOoXLT

    10:32 AM - 20 May 2014
    • 271 Retweets
    • 188 Likes
    • Alan Kahn Spooky Case 👻 Fatçinho Shaunna Kinney MinM Matthew Oliver Hilary Daniel Gilbertson Erin The Great
    14 replies 271 retweets 188 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Andrew Meikle‏ @Notaphish 22 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion guillotine = cheaper and does the same thing? :-P

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. davida_DIT‏ @davida_dit 22 May 2014
        Replying to @Notaphish

        @Notaphish @TheOnion But not nearly as entertainingly!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Andrew Meikle‏ @Notaphish 22 May 2014
        Replying to @davida_dit

        @davidaoit @Notaphish @TheOnion I don't know, put some appropriate music on while it happens - "Yakety yak" 4 life :-P

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1.  🌎(((ShrikeTron))) 🌏 🔠‏ @ShrikeTron 21 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion French guillotine seems more humane

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Joli Furnari‏ @brkdlprkdogpark 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @wussymusic

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ya Boy‏ @MacDaddy_Dill 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion he looks so calm even though he's about to get his head torn off

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. jpsqare‏ @jpsqare 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion why do they hire people with mental burdens as prison employees?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. AftenBrook Szymanski‏ @aftenbrook 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion that looks much less mentally taxing- *I'm going to Total Recall?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dfens‏ @dfens00 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Now that is progress.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Saif Alaswad‏ @chelseasaif 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion progressive "thinking"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. #KeepFamiliesTogether‏ @xoSheri 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion yanking their heads off is a sick reason to play God.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ashley‏ @Aheavenlyqt17 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Patrick‏ @Pattynb413 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Soothing sound. Flame throws. where can I get this chair

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. The Vicar of Disbrey‏ @dizzernp 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is that @rioferdy5 ? > “@TheOnion: Psychologist believe Ohio method of execution eases burden http://onion.com/1nkEWye  pic.twitter.com/YCku1pAF8v”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. SHAENANIGANS!  📚 ⚾ 💜‏ @shaeconnor 20 May 2014
        Replying to @NSGooden

        @NSGooden The Onion is always a joke. (Except some features like AV Club.) But yeah, satire is scarily more plausible than truth sometimes!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. theseus shippuden‏ @elfshame 20 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion I love how it’s impossible to tell exactly in what manner the machine does what it’s meant to do

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info