@TheOnion Putting bobby pins in outlets as a child and blowing the house circuits made me who I am today. Electrifying!
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My reading material MT
@TheOnion Baby-proofing tips for the home! http://onion.com/1jB50FC pic.twitter.com/wBk95xWFUQ
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@TheOnion Eventually your whole life's on the ceiling. Or he/she is at college.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion You just place everything on shelves that are four feet above the floor. Everything. And keep raising the shelves. Year by year.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@docchops RT@TheOnion: There’s really nothing you can do about bleach. If they want it...http://onion.com/1jB50FC pic.twitter.com/7yvHR5yCZ5”
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@TheOnion it's important to get the right kind of kitty litter and find a leash that's tight but not too tightThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion how about the good ol days when parents swatted hands and said NO!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion wouldn't it be easier to homeproof your baby?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion spicier taste compared to milkThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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“
@TheOnion: There’s really nothing you can do about bleach. If they want it, they’ll find it http://onion.com/1jB50FC pic.twitter.com/6N1THsMaJi”
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