Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 27 Apr 2014

    In Focus: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Diehttp://onion.com/QRCpkw 

    8:45 AM - 27 Apr 2014
    • 395 Retweets
    • 296 Likes
    • ashcatnola LOLGOP🔜 MoHo gina grad BOO-bacca Flocka Candyce Golis vincent “allowable % of rodent hair” gaffney bettbailey ¡SATIRISTAS!
    21 replies 395 retweets 296 likes
      1. Cathy Bristoll‏ @CathyBristoll 4 May 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "@TheOnion: In Focus: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Die http://onion.com/QRCpkw " sad but true

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Angela McClaughry‏ @angelamm_72 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Die http://onion.com/QRCpkw ”. Too funny!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jen‏ @jenoradio 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Best thing I've seen all weekend. RT “@TheOnion: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Every Problem til You Die"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dennis Kmiec‏ @DennisKmiec 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. LAOMS‏ @laomsceiich 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: In Focus: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Diehttp://onion.com/QRCpkw 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jorge Cadena-Roa‏ @cadenaroa 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: In Focus: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Diehttp://onion.com/QRCpkw 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Joe McLean‏ @JosephOMcLean 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kricket Kandt‏ @KricketKandt 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Die http://onion.com/QRCpkw ” #truth

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. al damato‏ @al_damato 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion most honest assessment I've seen yet!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Francesca Tronchin‏ @tronchin 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        RT @TheOnion: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Die http://onion.com/QRCpkw  #sorrynotsorry

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Marco‏ @el_vach 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Patron saint of pedophiles

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Shaun Judge‏ @SPJ112573 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II As Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Die http://onion.com/QRCpkw ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charles S. Freeman!‏ @cspencef 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Vatican Canonizes John Paul II Patron Saint Of Ignoring Problem Until You Die http://onion.com/QRCpkw ” one way to look at it...?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Cenosillicaphobia‏ @kh_nc1 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Bwahahahahahahaha!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Martin Robertson‏ @m_robertson_SC 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion aka Popecrastination

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lauren S. Kahn‏ @laurenskahn 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion To the extend that sainthood is still relevant in the modern world at all. . . .

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Queen of Sheba 1st‏ @charmskil 27 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion hee hee :)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info