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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 3 Apr 2014

    Tip: A firm handshake is key for a good first impression, but even better is a great kiss http://onion.com/1eevdo3 pic.twitter.com/9lKkiTUUB4

    11:11 AM - 3 Apr 2014
    • 332 Retweets
    • 218 Likes
    • Summer Fae citrus Melanie Cohen Lauren Papendorf Sam Gordon Abandon All Hope Rehak WacGyver Sophia Ortega Christine Ruffing
    21 replies 332 retweets 218 likes
      1. NICKAPRI‏ @nerdynickcapri 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @matt_perkin @chadscottcole23 Watch this haha. Independent living knowledge is key.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. SallyAnn Gowen‏ @allpathslead2VT 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @BlacksburgStuff That works perfectly for me. My boss is my husband. (I actually think I'm the boss, but shhhh...don't tell him.)

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Electroboy‏ @PFQMUSIC 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @GTCost I tried that once at an interview and instead of being hired, I was removed by security. #kiss

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Anne Grauso‏ @AnneGrauso 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion I like to hug it out....

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Seandre 3000‏ @SeanPaulDelaney 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @Kyle_Wagoner

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. THS‏ @lgkeeper 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Tip: A firm handshake is key for a good first impression, but even better is a great kiss". #HR

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Murt  🔴‏ @Mojo_Marty_ 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion @PFQMUSIC you love the aul snogging - a peck or a full wear?

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Electroboy‏ @PFQMUSIC 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @Mojo_Marty_

        @iMartay @TheOnion me? Or the onion? !

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. smartenyIP‏ @smartenyIP 4 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Thanks for these! I used them today and ROCKED it. Hired on the spot!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1.  🌾RootsRebel‏ @EpigeaArbutus 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion few this worse then shaking a hand that is just there...no life, no joy in the greeting.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JAP‏ @martygoldstein2 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion giving a nice blowie works for me everytime.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. MOB-GAL Moe Murph‏ @MamurphyMaureen 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Senator Tutwiller advises depositing Bowie Knife, Dueling Pistols in outer vestibule; to display amiable nature.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. MOB-GAL Moe Murph‏ @MamurphyMaureen 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @MamurphyMaureen

        @TheOnion As young Would-Be-Intern in 1847,Tutwiller advised to bring a large # of Gold Dubloons to Willard Hotel Lobby/Suss Out Bureaucrats

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. MOB-GAL Moe Murph‏ @MamurphyMaureen 7 Apr 2014
        Replying to @MamurphyMaureen

        @sophievipond As Faithful Biographer and Compiler of The Lost Memoirs of Fictional Sen. K. Tutwiller, I attach his ridiculous views! :)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Alex the Termite‏ @stew55 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Not very funny, but a bit entertaining....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Cecile‏ @SecilKizanlik 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: Tip: A firm handshake is key for a good first impression, but even better is a great kiss http://onion.com/EXACTLY  :))

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. NoName‏ @LibertyPlaza 3 Apr 2014
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @theonion Yes, the handshake gets the job but kissing ass gets the promotion.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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