Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 18 Apr 2013

    In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Couldhttp://onion.com/YXcb2b 

    6:41 AM - 18 Apr 2013
    • 77 Retweets
    • 31 Likes
    • Chris Fry Harrison Knowlton Chris Geozian Neen Paul Robb cmhahtd Evan M. Handy Benjamin Mohar Kevin Hanna
    20 replies 77 retweets 31 likes
      1. Marie Stucke‏ @mariestucke 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ” @destroyerofmen

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Patrick Schlabs‏ @patrickschlabs 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ” // my thoughts exactly.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bethany Warren‏ @bethanygwarren 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @calebwarren2099 best. “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rusty‏ @russwilliamsiii 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion "I would have been here sooner, if I had left earlier!"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tristan Smith‏ @seventh_lemon 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b " @ellie_dark

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Peter McLeod‏ @mcleodp 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don't know how @TheOnion knew: "In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b  "

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bryn Dearborn‏ @brd1971 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Robert Wheeler‏ @wheeldigital1 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here Fast As Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ” story of my life, but I apologize to no one.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Joe Rife‏ @joerife 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ” Better than jerk who gives no excuse

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. SeraTeeh‏ @SeraTeeh 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion that was me

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. susanhogarth‏ @susanhogarth 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is me: RT @TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Couldhttp://onion.com/YXcb2b 

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sarah Solomon‏ @solomondo 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ” Everyone has their reasons.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Eric Baker‏ @midwestbakslidr 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @dukeofsnark Ha! // “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Andy Jakcsy‏ @IlGreven 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Triangle Man, Triangle Man, Triangle Man Hates Area Man, They Have a Fight, Triangle Wins, Triangle Man.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Grabe‏ @GrabeO 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ” this got my ass good. Good morning!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kate Tietzen‏ @k8tietzen 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @gregimus_ “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ”

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Casey Self Storage‏ @CaseySelfStorag 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion In other news, he should have left earlier.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bryan Lowry‏ @BryanLowry3 18 Apr 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “@TheOnion: In Focus: Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could http://onion.com/YXcb2b ” this will be me at work today.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info