Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 15 Jan 2013

    Afghanistan War Veteran Solemnly Recalls Seeing Entire Platoon Killed By Undiagnosed PTSDhttp://onion.com/V7pFrg 

    7:45 PM - 15 Jan 2013
    • 48 Retweets
    • 20 Likes
    • a belly irked Snarl Ghoulson 👹 Irate Alien Michael Hawkins NewJerseyPeaceAction Good Bye jamesthefunny Edward L. Smith Hülya Aslantas
    18 replies 48 retweets 20 likes
      1. Jonathan Popham‏ @JonathanPopham 18 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/01/14/169364733/u-s-militarys-suicide-rate-surpassed-combat-deaths-in-2012 …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jason Nou‏ @RevelcadeEnt 16 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion Whoa, that's real news!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Casey Marie‏ @Casey_Pair 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion please stick to humor. :-/

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Scott H‏ @SnowyScott 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion That's really not funny. And I have a pretty fucked up sense of humor.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bill Thecat‏ @Bi11Thecat 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion unfortunately this isn't fake news. Troop suicides are at the highest levels ever. More troops die from PTSD than combat.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Irate Alien‏ @IrateAlien 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion really, this is satire worthy of Swift or even Juvenal himself. Thanks again.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. NickFury’sLeftEye‏ @Inspkta702 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion most of the time your stuff is funny. it is obvious to me that you do not know anyone who suffers from PTSD asshole!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. platinum Jim Jam‏ @platinumJimJam 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion thats really fucking tasteless and pretty low. avoid that subject entirely

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Shibari Weiss‏ @v_normal_person 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion needs to write darker stuff more often.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Drew D‏ @49Westend 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion this is reprehensible you idiots should be ashamed of yourselves,

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. LongJ1974‏ @Major4498 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion if outrageous & shocking is what you're going for, well I think you did it. Not funny, not enclined to gain u support. U Suck

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Irate Alien‏ @IrateAlien 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dear @TheOnion , your best stories are the ones that make me laugh least. I appreciate your courage in calling attention to this epidemic.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Connor‏ @Chef_Connor 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @IrateAlien

        @IrateAlien Well put!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Daniel Moore‏ @MooreDanMoore 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion oh. my. god.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. david drake‏Verified account @somanyshrimp 15 Jan 2013
        Replying to @TheOnion

        WTF RT @TheOnion Afghanistan War Veteran Solemnly Recalls Seeing Entire Platoon Killed By Undiagnosed PTSDhttp://onion.com/V7pFrg 

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. SPICKLES HQ‏ @spickleshq 16 Jan 2013
        Replying to @somanyshrimp

        @somanyshrimp @TheOnion http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDpcT3REsZ4 …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info