@TheOnion Michael J Sheridan, 94, while watching unsolved mysteries. Cause of death TBD.
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@justjoewells:@TheOnion Michael J Sheridan, 94, while watching unsolved mysteries. Cause of death TBD.#ScatteredDeaths
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@TheOnion Shirley Saul, 76, gelatin poisoning. Currently holding up buffet line.#ScatteredDeathsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion James Johnson, 92, heart attack in the parking lot of a Tampa area Sizzler. His Buick is still for sale#ScatteredDeathsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion I'm a paramedic in Florida. What do you think?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Mitt Romney's campaign, at a fund raiser for millionaires, back in May#ScatteredDeathsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion John Higgins, 92, crashes into the BMV. Dies waiting in line.#ScatteredDeathsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion 1988. Guy at Naples beach got struck by lightning while showering outside during a thunderstorm.#PROBABLYkaputThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion reporting death of an infant child . Doctors are calling it a still birth#ScatteredDeathsThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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@TheOnion Including@MittRomney?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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