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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Oct 9

    Report: Most Americans’ Retirement Plans Consist Of Hoping Their Random Junk Turns Out To Be Collector’s Item Worth Millions https://trib.al/Myeu7MM pic.twitter.com/wy7NJUf54x

    11:53 AM - 9 Oct 2018
    • 273 Retweets
    • 1,422 Likes
    • t. paige vaughn 🐷 Dragonspook928 shaz rasul Patrick Andres Gabe Bickel Tate Tim Fiely Ben Lord Elizabeth Isroff
    30 replies 273 retweets 1,422 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Ted... at... ND. OK?‏ @tedatnd Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not true. We also plan on winning the lottery.

        1 reply 0 retweets 21 likes
      3. David Rae, CFP® AIF®‏ @DavidRaeCFP Oct 9
        Replying to @tedatnd @TheOnion

        yes but you need get money by selling that junk in the garage ......

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Red Dawg‏ @DawgRed2112 Oct 9
        Replying to @DavidRaeCFP @tedatnd @TheOnion

        I'm 100% invested in triple leveraged/inverse Lotto ETFs!!!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. David Rae, CFP® AIF®‏ @DavidRaeCFP Oct 9
        Replying to @DawgRed2112 @tedatnd @TheOnion

        Some tips in case you win the lottery. #powerballhttp://www.financialplannerla.com/powerball-winning-numbers/ …

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Red Dawg‏ @DawgRed2112 Oct 9
        Replying to @DavidRaeCFP @tedatnd @TheOnion

        Amen...Multi-million dollar lottery winners have a shorter life expectancy than drug addicted/whiskey guzzling rock stars.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      7. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Otto Mondesi‏ @ItJust_TakesOne Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Plastic totes and 1998 tax documents fetch $1.99 at antique road show...seller pleased.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. J Allen‏ @The_JJAllen Oct 9
        Replying to @ItJust_TakesOne @TheOnion

        Surely old tax documents must fetch much a higher price on the black market.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Vote November 6th‏ @MaxineFaulk1 Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I am selling all my "skinny clothes" on eBay. Should fetch quite a bundle.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Eric Indiana‏ @ericindiana Oct 10
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is not parody. It is completely accurate.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jess J. Behrens‏ @glibly_jjb Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Doubt me at your peril, but in about 20-24 years some aging hipster will purchase a MAGA hat at a garage sale for 50 bucks and wear it ironically to Chelsea Clinton's inauguration as the second woman president. Everyone will laugh and kick back a High Life.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. William MacKenzie‏ @billmackenz44 Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good Grief! I just gave 178 old Beany Babies to Goodwill. Did i sabotage my retirement?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. J Allen‏ @The_JJAllen Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey, my enormous collection of mint in package cheap plastic toys produced for movie promotions that millions of other "collectors" also purchased will be worth a fortune once everyone else finally throws theirs out. I just got to hold out a little bit longer than them.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Lura SCARE-pitti‏ @fanaticnole Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Those Thomas the Train sets will pay off someday! #Gordonisacollectorsitem

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. me‏ @GlenBrown15 Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        8 track tapes,used mattress and 100 lb tvs will be of some value someday.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Nick Jordan‏ @NickNickolai81 Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If only someone could make an auction based show with this concept. Could go far.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. 𝓟𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓾𝓽 𝓐𝓻𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓵𝓮  🚬‏ @CamelFro Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Pretty sure my 'Batman Returns' McDonalds "Collectors" Cup will pop soon and be worth BILLIONS...I'm just waiting on @JeffBezos to call me looking for this piece. P.S. #Banksy drank out of it after eating 97 chicken nuggets.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. The Mario‏ @busterofballz Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        401keBay

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Sean‏ @seandoe00 Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not me. I have this vague idea that I’m gonna start some kind of business some day that does well but i don’t really work towards it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Yo Paulie‏ @PaulAufiero Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dont forget the Lottery

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jeff Yot‏ @jcyot22 Oct 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Boomers LOL

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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