Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Aug 28

    Dick Pulled Back Out Again https://trib.al/XPGgr5G pic.twitter.com/uY1WXtNhZW

    12:46 PM - 28 Aug 2018
    • 891 Retweets
    • 4,707 Likes
    • OldCrow🔹🌽 DC Activista jadeIvy MartinQ yami flo Jack[o’ lantern]son Bockus Abolish ICE Rodney"Reciprocity”Claeys   Vote November 6 🌊 Mary
    51 replies 891 retweets 4,707 likes
      1. Mary Lime‏ @SoCalledErin Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nice.pic.twitter.com/fMVtkIOyYw

        0 replies 0 retweets 36 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Funny-er‏ @RyanMMDobbs Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The worst part of Louis CK's comeback was the complete lack of someone storming the stage and beating him off it. @BillCosby

        1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Broadcaster‏ @voiceofgravel Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This headline is a winner

        2 replies 0 retweets 20 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Art Or Not Art‏ @artdecider Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Art.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. BGM_FinalKnight‏ @bertm1975 Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/v7ZX4QJXom

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Maddi S. Pumpkins‏ @maddigzlz Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Y’ALL

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. rj • nye‏ @rjnye Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        yall don't get paid enough

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Tea Anne‏ @HoopsnHenna Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ah leave him alone. At least he’s sorry and big enough to try to evolve

        3 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. vampire squid‏ @NatsSquid Aug 28
        Replying to @HoopsnHenna @TheOnion

        cool that makes everything okay

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. Patrick McKemie‏ @JPatMcK Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But he's changed. He's wearing a suit!

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Nina Wanat‏ @NinaMW Aug 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #BoycottComedyCellarNY

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Wise Cracker‏ @soundhound86 Aug 28
        Replying to @NinaMW @TheOnion

        The humorless stay home already

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Nina Wanat‏ @NinaMW Aug 28
        Replying to @soundhound86 @TheOnion

        The sexual offender should stay home already

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Wise Cracker‏ @soundhound86 Aug 28
        Replying to @NinaMW @TheOnion

        He’s not a sexual offender. If anything he’s guilty of it’s politely asking others to participate in his kink, which all are free to refuse The only difference in that and any other sexual advancement is you find it weird.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Nina Wanat‏ @NinaMW Aug 28
        Replying to @soundhound86 @TheOnion

        He is a sexual offender. You should stay home, too.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      7. Wise Cracker‏ @soundhound86 Aug 28
        Replying to @NinaMW @TheOnion

        No he isn’t see above

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      8. Nina Wanat‏ @NinaMW Aug 28
        Replying to @soundhound86 @TheOnion

        Nina Wanat Retweeted The Onion

        https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1034541154841382913 …

        Nina Wanat added,

        The OnionVerified account @TheOnion
        Humiliation Of Women Receives 10 Billionth Standing Ovation https://trib.al/qCZjz4w  pic.twitter.com/PHCrxKwNbB
        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      9. Wise Cracker‏ @soundhound86 Aug 28
        Replying to @NinaMW @TheOnion

        Oh the onion The fake satiracal newspaper is the best point you can make?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      10. 6 more replies

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info