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The Onion
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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Aug 19

    New Biblical Text Reveals God First Sent Christ To Save Elk As Practice https://trib.al/vitVQSa pic.twitter.com/EeWHU6CXbk

    6:05 AM - 19 Aug 2018
    • 165 Retweets
    • 1,462 Likes
    • Sandy PhD Saquoyah Langlois Billy Swain Javier Alberto de la Vega Ortiz Dustin Johnson Mr. Dr. Professor Jason, Esq. Tracy Brooks Riley Sizelove Cadejo Jones, Autumnal Sorceress🏴🌹🐾
    20 replies 165 retweets 1,462 likes
      1. Jamie Snell‏ @Jimmy_Buttons Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “Deer children let us not love with words or speech... because you are deer. You can’t talk.”

        0 replies 1 retweet 10 likes
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      1. William Rory Coker‏ @CokerRory Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And he failed.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Catherine Jones‏ @HiFalutinWays Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Jesus came to save me and my elk. I tried that joke out a few weeks ago so I have a photo of the majestic animal to hand.pic.twitter.com/B71nbtND0X

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Cryptogeddon‏ @fiddybux Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Does this have anything to do with Elk-Qaeda?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Major O‏ @owenjmichael Aug 20
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @NCBonnie1215

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Leon Jacyna‏ @LeonJacyna Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hosanna in Elkcelsior!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Mmmmmm ...... so elk meat is holy?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Life Is Short. Stay Wild.https://www.redbubble.com/people/alex4444/works/22595452-life-is-short-stay-wild?p=mens-graphic-t-shirt&rbs=6adadb97-4f46-4fe4-abe6-a51bb5c5fe79&rel=carousel …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. 6' Sp 👻 👻ky Dog‏ @SixFootDog Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "The beginning tests brought great results. The Elk seemed to live in harmony. That was, until, we introduced another test element: mating season. We lost 26 good scientists that day."

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Elk Town FC‏ @ElkTownFC Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You don’t happen to be looking for a Fifa Pro club by any chance, do you? Asking for a friend... #ETFC🦌

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Panama‏ @11_Panama_ Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Weak.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. jenhirst‏ @jenhirst1 Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/nn3uZdZPAK

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. arvian redya p.‏ @rvwitharvi Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Saya ketawa bacanya 😄

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. ODQAN  🔱‏ @odqan1 Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/o6Vo6Uyuoq

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We now learn, from the recovered texts, hidden under the paw of the Sphinx, that there were daze before the original 7 days.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Luke, but like, a zombie or something like that‏ @LPL8717 Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Then an elk spoke and he was all like "You ain't a donkey or snake" so he committed genocide against giabts

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Villy_Sleepvalley‏ @VillySleepvally Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That dry run was a failure, elk refused to follow him afterwards.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Emad Fahad‏ @KingFahad360 Aug 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Then god found out That Christ was high and fucked Male and Female Elk’s non Stop.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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