Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Aug 15

    Report: Statistically Speaking There’s Decent Chance Pope Francis Molested Someone https://trib.al/mHk9TZG pic.twitter.com/fqafCqmQ3Q

    11:24 AM - 15 Aug 2018
    • 365 Retweets
    • 1,300 Likes
    • Michael T. Lias Brian2293 Jen Ess Louie Shantaram Nino Mrkoci rxwtendenciez Raju Shah intolerantmangoabdul
    71 replies 365 retweets 1,300 likes
      1. SandyB‏ @SandyBGoode Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The fact that this headline does not actually need to be from The Onion says a lot.

        0 replies 1 retweet 44 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. nik0‏ @N1K0w0 Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/k6ynyA3yGe

        1 reply 0 retweets 28 likes
      3. Comanche Thunderpunch‏ @mehworth Aug 15
        Replying to @N1K0w0 @TheOnion

        Wow. I never really thought of it like that. Thanks for that perspective.

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. JLBreckenridge‏ @JLBreckenridge Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ONION, you just went over the line. Stop it!

        4 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Hahnarama  🍺  🎲 🍻‏ @Hahnarama Aug 15
        Replying to @JLBreckenridge @TheOnion

        the truth hurts... Or so least the mathematical probability of it being true

        0 replies 0 retweets 30 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Christopher Rodney  🌐  🏳️‍🌈‏ @ctrodney Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Pope Francis is decent for a religious person. But the power structure of religion is highly attractive to abusers. It calls for complete submission and covers bad leaders.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Gato Mercado‏ @gatomercado Aug 15
        Replying to @ctrodney @TheOnion

        He covered up many cases of child rape by priests in Chile, and let the government brutally kill his followers, even helping them catch certain activists they wanted. Do a little research.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. Christopher Rodney  🌐  🏳️‍🌈‏ @ctrodney Aug 15
        Replying to @gatomercado @TheOnion

        Wow. I was not aware of that. I mean covering up rape is just standard religion, but I didn't know about the issues in Chile. Thanks for sharing.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Gato Mercado‏ @gatomercado Aug 15
        Replying to @ctrodney @TheOnion

        Chile was the worst of the worst in terms of brutal governments in Latin America. Whereas other priests/bishops decided to stand up for their followers, even to the point of taking up arms, Francis sold them out wholesale in his own country so he could keep his position.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Salt & Pepper‏ @MrErikJ Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/rWifHAlFzI

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Original account name‏ @Originalaccoun3 Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Technically, this isn’t even satire anymore.

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. RepublicanNoMore‏ @fiskynut50 Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm beginning to think the Church's position on abortion & birth control is a supply and demand issue...you can't abuse/rape kids if you don't keep producing them.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Dr. K‏ @49f6206f668c42e Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        maybe best not to include child molestation in your humor repertoire

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. theOneMichelle‏ @theOneMichelle5 Aug 15
        Replying to @49f6206f668c42e @TheOnion

        What may be best is not to molest and rape children, Catholic Church.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Beverly Hill‏ @HillBeverlyhill Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion @cameldeathh

        He is a Jesuit and they have higher standards.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. TrumpWeak Leader-LovesDictators/HatesThe Truth‏ @OrlandoBob Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If this weren't The Onion I'd figure it was FOX "News"

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mr. Pepe Poo Poo Doo Doo Emu‏ @XRobsPunchinBag Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The numbers are astounding abd pervy

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Ron Falkowski‏ @Paragon12321 Aug 15
        Replying to @okhobieman2002 @TheOnion

        Nah

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. End of conversation
      1. ODQAN  🔱‏ @odqan1 Aug 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/Uo05GWZ9JD

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info