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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Aug 12

    Stephen Miller Enraged After Discovering Cantaloupe He’s Fucking From Mexico https://trib.al/tbQUJvB pic.twitter.com/13QPKYfLQC

    3:47 PM - 12 Aug 2018
    • 1,654 Retweets
    • 8,905 Likes
    • CarrieW94227965 Heather Ⓥ 🕸🌙 Clark bea julie707 Carlito Mariategui OldCrow🔹🌽 Mac Thompson James Derk
    121 replies 1,654 retweets 8,905 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Silly Goose Nathan‏ @SillyGooseTimes Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Where the hell is this thing even from?pic.twitter.com/1mfpCjqtHi

        6 replies 1 retweet 28 likes
      3. Otto Titsling (from Beaches)‏ @OttoTitsling Aug 12
        Replying to @SillyGooseTimes @TheOnion

        That is some fivehead.pic.twitter.com/CCJcGGA6WH

        0 replies 1 retweet 22 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Ian Fletcher  🌊  🌊  🌊  🌊‏ @92660voter Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's difficult for The Onion to compete with todays headlines of so much bullshit...but finally one we can laugh at!!! p.s. I'm sure it's only a papaya!

        1 reply 1 retweet 40 likes
      3. Plural_prints‏ @PluralPrints Aug 12
        Replying to @92660voter @TheOnion

        Mini kiwi would be my guess.

        0 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Jesse Furukawa‏ @JehShiFuru Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He calmed down after hearing that someone had removed the seeds and were keeping them in a separate holding facility

        1 reply 0 retweets 55 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Chazbo‏ @camelcitychef Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/myqbdWwmJw

        0 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Nerdy Nix Nook‏ @Bosco685 Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Will this poor boy ever find his perfect melon? It's sad.

        2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Mario-F. Robles‏ @I_Am_MFR Aug 12
        Replying to @Bosco685 @TheOnion

        I don’t know, but with all the security he has around him at all times, even if he does find the right one the poor guy cantaloupe in Vegas or something like that.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Carmine Fields‏ @CarmineFields5 Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Miller smears Jeff Sessions down with blue grease paint and chases him around a specially constructed toadstool house in the White House basement.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. End of conversation
      1.  🌍 Gus Posey‏ @gus_posey Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No offense, but with the world this weird, are you guys high ALL the time now?

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steve McCall‏ @stephenmccall Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Best of the year

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. The Colon‏ @thecolonnews Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Seems relevant.https://www.thecolonnews.com/single-post/2018/03/11/CantaloupeConsistentlyDisappointing …

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Ronald Reagan’s Spinning Corpse‏ @SpinningRonnie Aug 12
        Replying to @thecolonnews @TheOnion

        "Sweaty, disgusting disappointment?" Isn't that what the Trump family calls Eric?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Batfan‏ @flyeaglez_fly Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When asked if he preferred the Melon microwaved for 20 seconds first, Or straight ice-cold from the fridge? He smoothly replied, “Whichever makes it cry more.”

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. RCD‏ @AlvinOscarSam Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/VQXBRh0gtp

        0 replies 2 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. The sidhelah‏ @SHE_RAH369 Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought it was a banana and two rambutan......

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Skeptic‏ @abqralph Aug 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Where are the bananas he shoves up his a$$ from?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. cameldeath‏ @cameldeathh Aug 12
        Replying to @abqralph @TheOnion

        Giuliani has the market cornered on bananas.pic.twitter.com/UoHAs70cpg

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation

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