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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Aug 8

    Oscars Committee Announces Plan To Shorten Ceremony To Single-Millisecond Flash Of Blinding White Light https://trib.al/7yKljmB pic.twitter.com/FIIDhToIVJ

    2:32 PM - 8 Aug 2018
    • 274 Retweets
    • 1,841 Likes
    • Ramon 👽🌈✨ we are b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶ this sophia mughal Pierre-Simon Laplace witchress the real one Ben Braun Karina Lebedeva Tachi
    35 replies 274 retweets 1,841 likes
      1. Jeff O'Meara‏ @jomeara555 Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Oscars really need to reformat the program. It's so incredibly dated. Should it be a live broadcast or an actual hour long film that highlights the essentials? It has turned into a fart in a revolving door.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. Elizabeth Desnoyers-Colas‏ @MOVEprofPHD Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion @Bob_Hudgins

        Still too long.....

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Chris Bigelow‏ @bigelow_chris Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And that’s a wrap. Same time next year?pic.twitter.com/a3dfpFHqiN

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. Kimberly Gallella‏ @kgallella Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion @JohnEkdahl

        Works for me!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Patrick‏ @PatrickInNC Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The flash translates to "Everybodywoneverythinggoodnight!"

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. Steve Roth‏ @SRoth0508 Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oscars Committee determined it would be racist to use a black light.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. OK_Dumbass‏ @OK_Dumbass Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Still too long.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. The Angry Liberal‏ @angryandliberal Aug 9
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Looking forward to a new category: "Best performance by a woman who didn't have to watch Harvey Weinstein masturbate first."

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. J Allen‏ @The_JJAllen Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That'd be a lot more entertaining to watch than the real thing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Rob Bullock  🚫‏ @RealActorRob Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This .gif works for a lot of situations.pic.twitter.com/ah03kZwY7x

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. ✩Jai Guru Cilento✩ (BCM/ASQ)‏ @Jai_Cilento Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        bout time

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Sad Meal‏ @Sad_MealRS Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Heh they made it a little shorter... what if they made it *really* short. Classic Onion

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Eric Hutchison‏ @EricSHutchison Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's about time!pic.twitter.com/FsRMJZYyy7

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And the winner is: “The Big Bang Theory”..... Oh, wait, that’s a TV show....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. björn‏ @The_Human_Iron Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wouldn't be a bad idea.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Mister Lobo‏ @MisterLobo Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sponsored by Zik Zak

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jehanzeb Arshad‏ @Jehanzeb061 Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lmfao

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Wenger‏ @cobweng Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        finally!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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