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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Aug 4

    Keith Richards' Housekeeper Has Braced Herself For Finding Dead Body Every Morning Since 1976 https://trib.al/fBU5a2s pic.twitter.com/hF2fo52WFw

    5:50 AM - 4 Aug 2018
    • 2,584 Retweets
    • 12,840 Likes
    • Norris Smith Rave Chicken Charles Zorbach Gay Bailey The Fragility of the Decentralized Consensus rocío a. úngaro ♡ mrs. hat ♡ Justin D. Hughes james
    105 replies 2,584 retweets 12,840 likes
      1. Jaap Jan de Vries‏ @jaapjandevries Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/07wg3mgb42

        0 replies 14 retweets 88 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Alexander‏ @greekdude Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is a 6-year old article and it might still be relevant in 16 years.

        1 reply 0 retweets 34 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Kevin Barnard‏ @KevyB1990 Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion @ForzaCorrado

        He's going to outlive her too.pic.twitter.com/HeySBxCMY0

        0 replies 1 retweet 10 likes
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      1. Mike Weeks‏ @Weeksy1808 Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Much like Keith himself, this story doesn’t get any older

        0 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. AJ Dolphin‏ @aj_dolphin Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @UncleSmuck79 @Butch_Trytten @WSiglin38 @CjHarmon15

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Will Siglin‏ @WSiglin38 Aug 4
        Replying to @aj_dolphin @TheOnion and

        😂😂 Surprisingly Kieth will probably outlive her!

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Art Or Not Art‏ @artdecider Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Art.

        0 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. MJB Fresh‏ @marcthemusicman Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @HanktheK ...the maid's she's French, she got no sense...

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. Hanan Kolko‏ @HanktheK Aug 4
        Replying to @marcthemusicman @TheOnion

        Shooting water rats.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Maria B‏ @MariaIslandlady Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hola😧😧😧pic.twitter.com/dMXfoMXAUA

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Shah 👀ster‏ @Shahooster Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He’s already dead. Alcohol is an excellent preservative.

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. B. Elton Howell‏ @bhowie14 Aug 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well Keith Richards has probably died at least 3 times sinc 1976 so it would just be a not again type of deal

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. John Antony Negrón Please, Vote On November 6th!‏ @JohnNegron1 Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My dude @officialKeef is going to outlast them all! Such a genuine and kind person...pic.twitter.com/nPc4XeetXK

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. Joseph Trexler‏ @JoeTrex Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        W...T...F... you're telling me that pickled geezer is STILL alive?! GTFOutta here... seriously? Maybe if I do as much crap as he has, I'll live to be 105! I'm off to find a heroin dealer and a bootlegger.... excuse me.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. The King of Wrong‏ @KingOfWrong Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bah... we all know that Keith Richards cannot be harmed by conventional weapons...

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. bananawhiskey‏ @ck_nab Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion

        sympathy for the dirt devil

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Tom in toronto‏ @Tombo1966 Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion @KevInTheD

        pic.twitter.com/kQ6FDzhb7n

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Richard DeCamp‏ @richdecamp Aug 4
        Replying to @TheOnion @KurtSchlichter

        We really do need to think of what kind of world we're leaving for him.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Slough Feg‏ @_SpacePirate__ Aug 4
        Replying to @richdecamp @TheOnion @KurtSchlichter

        The old adage "After a nuclear war, the only living things left will be cockroaches" .... and Keith Richards.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation

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