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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Aug 3

    Nation’s Single Men Announce Plan To Change Bedsheets By 2019 https://trib.al/CebKvcM pic.twitter.com/aMEFPRX3Tp

    6:44 AM - 3 Aug 2018
    • 512 Retweets
    • 3,516 Likes
    • UI Gala Icetalon92 Geoff Williams Sandy Lamberts Scarlettt Tony Khalilollahi devante Zany name Ana | #ExpectChange
    54 replies 512 retweets 3,516 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Brittany Harris‏ @aka_lylica Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Men in relationships continue strategy of waiting for significant other to do it.

        3 replies 0 retweets 44 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Telytubisavalas‏ @Telytubisavalas Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oddly enough, that most likely is when the lease will be up and time to move to another apartment.

        0 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
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      1. Snarkington Post‏ @SnarkingtonPost Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bedsheets are like @BritaUSA filters. You have no idea when you have to change them, except you know that it has been a reallllly long time.

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
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      1. Bitter Actor‏ @_Bitter_Actor Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it’s only an approximate date

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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      1. Vote November 6th 🌊‏ @DbGinevra Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Every 6 months whether they need it or not...

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Doesn’t Get Satire/Parody‏ @NoSatireForMe Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They should be changing them once every two weeks at the latest...

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Carl The Bird‏ @STFUCarlBird Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        *poops on pillow*

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Liz Webb‏ @livingstonfan Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I think the reporter shamed these sources, causing them to bullshit about the 2019 projected sheet-changing date. Prolly 2021 at soonest.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Mücho  🅱️orno 📽  🥒 💦 🍑‏ @StopManFoJ Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I havent changed mine since the fall of the Republic

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Vedo‏ @LvayDen Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That's an aggressive timeline, previous estimates had them pegged for 2021 at the earliest.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Allyson Jones‏ @llysonjones Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey @sassycassi_98, do you think this is true for @jacobcowden28 and @alechoward0? I'm skeptical.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Alec Howard‏ @alechoward0 Aug 3
        Replying to @llysonjones @TheOnion and

        They mention comforters, which I keep myself aloof from. However, I am currently working on their presentation identifying bed frames as mankind’s greatest farce.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Steve Smith (I support  🇨🇦 🇵🇷)‏ @steve37341 Aug 8
        Replying to @TheOnion @NoodleCandies

        pic.twitter.com/hKzPU2SVY0

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Gunnar Hrafn Jónsson‏ @GunnarHrafnJ Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Change them? I plan to acquire some by 2021.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. the empathic narcissist.‏ @SeauxAppalled Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I should buy a second set of bed sheets so when I get around to washing them it won’t be 2am and my only set of bed sheets are wet in the washing machine still leaving me to stay up over an hour waiting for them to dry...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Albert Gonzalez‏ @absurdum23 Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What is a bedsheet?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Michael Castellon‏ @mikecinsa Aug 3
        Replying to @absurdum23 @TheOnion

        Same category as your chones...#changedaily

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Albert Gonzalez‏ @absurdum23 Aug 3
        Replying to @mikecinsa @TheOnion

        Who has time for all that?? 🤣

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Michael Castellon‏ @mikecinsa Aug 3
        Replying to @absurdum23 @TheOnion

        #commando

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation

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