Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Aug 2

    Report: Typical City Bus Contains No Fewer Than Four Erections At Any Given Time https://trib.al/ay0wUNY pic.twitter.com/PParhhL5iX

    7:26 AM - 2 Aug 2018
    • 124 Retweets
    • 801 Likes
    • Fanny Dillion ghoul-rich👻gevaaᴙt 💀💀Skeletonfan 38💀💀 toemas_ Stu Miller Wolf Ty Vulpine Ultimate Gohan🐼🐝 George Hollister
    27 replies 124 retweets 801 likes
      1. Ms Fisher‏ @Iwillnotfall Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How does that compare to a Greyhound bus?

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mark Phillips‏ @Comixbear Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's hard....to believe that.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. A Dissident is Here‏ @Pulpiteer Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/johCDfbXVr

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Stan Lee Cup‏ @MuzzMuzzington Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wood be a hard situation to be in for sure.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Phil Slarks‏ @PhilSlarks Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ugh this is true and now I’m going to think about it every time I’m on the bus. ☹️

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Glenn Fermoyle‏ @GSFortytwo Aug 2
        Replying to @PhilSlarks @TheOnion

        And you're gonna be like, "I wonder who the other three are?".

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Gooby McSpoo‏ @JRMlaw91 Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hell, that’s true when I’m on the bus by myself.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Brandon‏ @blongshanks77 Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don't know what's funnier. The title of this article, or the responses in the comments!pic.twitter.com/r43XRMyiXu

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ruh Roh‏ @03purplejazzMIM Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        More, if the bus driver's even halfway decent looking -- no matter male or female (gay men ride the bus too!).

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ReadyDressedGo‏ @ReadyDressedGo Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ewwwwwwwwww 😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. no wait‏ @UserCastle Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I needed this info

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. orange_kool_aid‏ @orange_kool_aid Aug 3
        Replying to @TheOnion @questar1959_ron

        Sick shit..more plz

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jason Kopec‏ @jasonkopec Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @alex_twittinz

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Insi Nificant‏ @insi_nificant Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is why i drive everywherepic.twitter.com/6cN87nZ278

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Abraham Atess‏ @Abraham_Atess Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/bSHz9nqCMV

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Amity‏ @Amityforms Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is sexist and transphobic, they didn't include women in their study

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Q17 line has the most.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Evo‏ @evanmoir Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Does this count include semis?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. average Joe‏ @JosephN18769788 Aug 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Gross there are three other guys with erections!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info