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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 30

    Woman Beginning To Suspect Husband Having Second Affair https://trib.al/oO20zfS pic.twitter.com/JDwupUNCGX

    3:40 PM - 30 Jul 2018
    • 74 Retweets
    • 679 Likes
    • Real Society Hours SUPERflix Movies 🎥 🤓 Marie Ⓐ ☭ QRO Magazine Pierre-Simon Laplace Rachelle Tinsley Kalios X v e r i f i e d influencer Dharam Khalsa
    19 replies 74 retweets 679 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. csd‏ @csd Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Melanie?

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Fitch‏ @Fitch98570556 Jul 30
        Replying to @csd @TheOnion

        Nah, it would be more 7th affair.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Susie Sander‏ @susiezygy Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Women need to let go of the dream of being a stay at home wife. Go to college and make bank on your own. Don't depend on a man to be your "life".pic.twitter.com/fFhlRsHLZD

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. (Insert cool nickname)‏ @Crenshaw78 Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If it was a picture of Hillary I would’ve died

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. My name is Chad Miles man‏ @ChadOnMyWay Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is her name Melania?

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Roger‏ @pregor120603 Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This totally Joyce’s fault! If she would wear the nurse’s uniform he bought her AND the school teacher “get up,” there would be no reason for two mistresses! Come on Joyce, get with the “program!” #abusedHusbands

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. cathy‏ @cathyxOR Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ok, second tweet that's not funny. The other one was about a guy who died of cancer. What is up?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. WinstonSmith‏ @That1In10000 Jul 30
        Replying to @cathyxOR @TheOnion

        I’m guessing you can relate to this story?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. cathy‏ @cathyxOR Jul 30
        Replying to @That1In10000 @TheOnion

        No, it never happened to me. Do you think it's funny?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. WinstonSmith‏ @That1In10000 Jul 30
        Replying to @cathyxOR @TheOnion

        Yeah. I quite liked the fact the wife knew of the second woman. Thought it was good that she’d caught the second woman stalking the new woman

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. Kadesh Hendricksen‏ @TheDOTKU Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "I just wanted to sit on her face but then she wouldn't leave" -the husband describing his relationships with both his wife and the woman he's getting texts from at midnight now

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Rob Z Tobor‏ @Rob_Z_Tobor Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well if it only lasts a second not much can happen. . . . So she needs to cheer up.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Chris Schoenfeld‏ @BricoleurDev Jul 31
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ‘Himself’ ... so close.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        A true plot of a French film noir movie.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Honey, is that your first or second mistress?pic.twitter.com/BP7i8rKhLw

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. ;‏ @Earth1Citizen Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought it was only me and Becky.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Christopher Perdue‏ @clperdue4342 Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The third one will be the charm.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Bill Parks‏ @HemiBParks Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Massive fail with this one

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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