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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 29

    Obnoxious Friend Won't Stop Attaining Major Life Milestones https://trib.al/DS924IA pic.twitter.com/ghow5K561u

    3:43 PM - 29 Jul 2018
    • 761 Retweets
    • 5,122 Likes
    • hahaaa Callum McAllister Thomas The Nature of Endangerment Charles North Garrett Harle nora useful idiom ☚ Pete Masalsky
    29 replies 761 retweets 5,122 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. love, cece‏ @CecProff Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion @vints

        Sorry

        1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
      3. vintz‏ @vints Jul 29
        Replying to @CecProff @TheOnion

        It’s not a race Cece

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      4. love, cece‏ @CecProff Jul 29
        Replying to @vints @TheOnion

        Yeah but if it was....

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Susan Lee Sexton‏ @susanleesexton Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Those fake pose photos make it more nauseating

        0 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Doesn’t Get Satire/Parody‏ @NoSatireForMe Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Different people progress through life at different speeds. It doesn’t help to harbor resentment against this friend.

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Tim Dever‏ @timdever Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah, but is she caught up on Westworld yet? Joke's on her.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Derik Holte‏ @DerikHolte Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They may have their children and success, but I still have my rock and roll.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. TG‏ @TVinnieG Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So their major milestone was stealing a basketball from a sporting goods store? Big whoop! Although disguising it as a baby was a great idea.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. ProcrastinationPartners‏ @ProcrastPartner Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don’t worry, they aren’t attaining them as quickly as their parents’ generation.pic.twitter.com/P6kLiXUmdr

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Rob Z Tobor‏ @Rob_Z_Tobor Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Really maybe buying chairs might be a good one to attain next.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Michelle‏ @MidtermsPlease Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Student loan repayment will have the last laugh.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. sara™‏ @sxq22x Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion @sennahmad

        Sorry.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. L.B. Lewis‏ @LBLewisAuthor Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #Amwriting a whole trilogy about not achieving major milestones like this annoying friend:http://amzn.to/2ahrbnR 

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. union general bark (the dog)‏ @UnionBark Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @felbear5 @shukkyshai

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. David Michael Newman‏ @davidmnewman93 Jul 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @bry_mag

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jesse Walker‏ @jdwalk25 Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She got fat

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Ash Cook‏ @ashcook123 Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        too real

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Samantha Spoto‏ @spoto_samantha Jul 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @bfunicelli

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply

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