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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 27

    Lyft Considering Offering ‘Zen’ Mode For Those Who Want Quiet Ride https://trib.al/4qryDbR  #WhatDoYouThink?pic.twitter.com/1vRS6y9VcB

    2:55 PM - 27 Jul 2018
    • 127 Retweets
    • 811 Likes
    • Ethann Scott H Anderson Unsocial Medium PA Kevin Mathers in Rozvadov The Founding Farters 🌹DS Matt R Kagu @ GuardRail Gunners
    18 replies 127 retweets 811 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Kavan Cleary‏ @kavancleary Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is subtle moaning allowed?

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Carmine Fields‏ @CarmineFields5 Jul 27
        Replying to @kavancleary @TheOnion

        Encouraged, but no discount offered.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. CHI Chi chi OZ Oz oz‏ @dearozbyoslo Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        i wonder if any of the people in these pix are still alive...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Dayglo Pharoah‏ @kingfrook Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Drive a cab for a living and you will know everything going on with everyone. If a cabbie can't help you don't do it. For God's sake tip your diver well. Fuck Lift and Uber. Take a cab. Technology doesn't make everything better. These ride share drivers don't have a hack license

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. www.UnbeatableBid.com‏ @unbeatablebid Jul 27
        Replying to @kingfrook @TheOnion

        Sorry dude, the taxi industry is dead. Join the dark side (Uber) or if you're in a good mood try Lyft. I read about a guy who found a 2007 ford with 157k miles on it and it past inspection for only $1000 cash. You can do it.

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Soul Cab  🚕 🚖‏ @TheSoulCab Jul 28
        Replying to @unbeatablebid @kingfrook @TheOnion

        We're hiring while uber lost $4.5 Billion last year.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Soul Cab  🚕 🚖‏ @TheSoulCab Jul 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Props for the THICH NHAT HANH quote.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Jul 28
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Uber countering with Hearse Solemly

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. 4_real‏ @__4real___ Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yessss! Sometimes the yacking eats in to your soul. Sometimes you just want a nice quiet ride while you flip through the smorgasboard of your social media fake life.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. www.UnbeatableBid.com‏ @unbeatablebid Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You can tell when they don't want to talk. Most people love it though! Meeting people is the best part of the job! #lyft #uber

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. tinier frog‏ @slippythefrog12 Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @_BrownBear65 for you

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Aayla  🌐☭⛤‏ @VelveetaSuicide Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This but real please

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. GretaG (˵◕ ɛ ◕˵✿)‏ @GretaG250 Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @hyperbrolepod

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Sam Platt‏ @sam_plizzy Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/HeoR0OCQlZ

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jennifer Weisberger‏ @JenniferWeisbe5 Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ha!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. nom nom chompsky‏ @umnonotreally Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yes please!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. joe rubio‏ @joer_and1 Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You can play a LP ambient recording of trump speaking to his minions..lol.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jason Holder‏ @JasonHo31956273 Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Thanks for the insanely large thwack of laughter that burst out of me. John Hurt's alien had nothing on this.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Carmine Fields‏ @CarmineFields5 Jul 27
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s like hugging several subway pals!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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