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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 22

    Report: Sharks To Only Kill 10 People This Year But One Of Them Will Be You https://trib.al/qXzp9VX pic.twitter.com/AzA8OheO0v

    7:15 PM - 22 Jul 2018
    • 1,373 Retweets
    • 6,283 Likes
    • Ryan Blackwell 🦇 Cranpire Bat 🦇 #DarrellRobertParker cHamp Grace Jennings John pop snowghoul🎃🎃💀👻 fraser TheShrike
    97 replies 1,373 retweets 6,283 likes
      1. Authentic Don Holley™‏ @donholley0 Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/hjambts5jE

        0 replies 4 retweets 64 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. jhermann  🎃‏ @jhermann Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion @glynn

        pic.twitter.com/iqPdqCv5va

        0 replies 0 retweets 31 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. john pais  🌹‏ @paismaker Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/yuZwQ8Noa2

        0 replies 0 retweets 23 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Sah  👽‏ @SockeyeSah Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/FJOiBOJvjS

        0 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Princess Luna‏ @GameAlicornLuna Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion @Claylex1

        ...I may need to reschedule my trip to Seaside...

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
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      1. End the Idiocracy‏ @TFDark Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sharks, the MS13 of the ocean

        0 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
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      1. Blindmelon‏ @BlindMelon1967 Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Land shark.pic.twitter.com/D0IEl0S9Hh

        0 replies 2 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. jackson 'o lantern‏ @jacksonelhage Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Me? I'm flattered!

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Adam Hoffman‏ @FolkTaleGeek Jul 22
        Replying to @jacksonelhage @TheOnion

        Not everyone gets that privilege.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. quoth the RAEven‏Verified account @PAYOLETTER Jul 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hurry up already

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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      1. Loudmouth Reviewer‏ @LoudmouthR Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #notall sharks

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Nene‏ @pghgurl68 Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Unless sharks inhabit showers now, I will not become a meal. 😁

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Jay Nonymous‏ @sglockenspeil Jul 26
        Replying to @pghgurl68 @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/SosD0LNE01

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Chief Justice Keef‏ @Jaywoooo Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @pimento_goddess

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. it's a good day to take a bath 🗣‏ @pimento_goddess Jul 22
        Replying to @Jaywoooo @TheOnion

        I just laughed out loud. Forgot about that

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. 𝙳𝚢𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚗‏ @chiassondylan_ Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @eleanorjxox

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. eleanor johnson‏ @eleanorjxox Jul 22
        Replying to @chiassondylan_ @TheOnion

        amazing

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. InstantKarma‏ @InstantKarma8 Jul 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ohhh!! Noooo!pic.twitter.com/HnkPLhDNFf

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Lad  🇬🇧‏ @Plan10FromSpace Jul 26
        Replying to @TheOnion @SeIachimorpha

        Yay!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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