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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 19

    Black Man At Walgreens Impressed By How Attentively Employees Tailing Him https://trib.al/vl6v0jc pic.twitter.com/DJoaUmp3pt

    8:37 AM - 19 Jul 2018
    • 1,094 Retweets
    • 5,774 Likes
    • BlackCheckShirt ሃይከል Garrett Steele leaderofthepenguins ً emily day Sid H Ketsia Julmeus frodo
    59 replies 1,094 retweets 5,774 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Jason Vorflees‏ @Fleeyore Jul 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think this is grammatically correct.

        2 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
      3. Spook Wink-hell ⁉️(Hairy Anthony Israel)‏ @blockwonkel Jul 19
        Replying to @Fleeyore @TheOnion

        Headline grammar works differently than normal sentences. "To be" and "a/an" are usually omitted. (A) black man at Walgreens (is) impressed by how attentively employees (are) tailing him. https://www.chronicle.com/blogs/linguafranca/2013/02/18/the-grammar-of-newspaper-headlines/ …

        3 replies 2 retweets 66 likes
      4. Jason Vorflees‏ @Fleeyore Jul 19
        Replying to @blockwonkel @TheOnion

        I get that much but they could have dropped the -ing on tailing him and it would mean the same thing

        2 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
      5. Spook Wink-hell ⁉️(Hairy Anthony Israel)‏ @blockwonkel Jul 19
        Replying to @Fleeyore @TheOnion

        No, it wouldn't. "Tail" would mean he's impressed with how they usually tail him. "Tailing" means how they are currently tailing him at the present time.

        1 reply 1 retweet 51 likes
      6. Jason Vorflees‏ @Fleeyore Jul 19
        Replying to @blockwonkel @TheOnion

        And this wouldn’t convey the same message?

        2 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
      7. Spook Wink-hell ⁉️(Hairy Anthony Israel)‏ @blockwonkel Jul 19
        Replying to @SpacedOddity @TheOnion

        No. The headline (and article) detail one particular instance of TAILING as it's happening, contrasting it to how lazily other employees usually TAIL him.

        3 replies 1 retweet 41 likes
      8. Spook Wink-hell ⁉️(Hairy Anthony Israel)‏ @blockwonkel Jul 19
        Replying to @blockwonkel @SpacedOddity @TheOnion

        To put it another way, everybody poops. But not everybody is pooping right now at this very moment.

        2 replies 1 retweet 26 likes
      9. Jason Vorflees‏ @Fleeyore Jul 19
        Replying to @blockwonkel @TheOnion

        Yeah but if I tell you I’m pooping and you read it after the fact it doesn’t make a difference if I say “I pooped” instead.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      10. 6 more replies
      1. New conversation
      2. Rob Shimshock‏Verified account @ShimshockAndAwe Jul 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ohhh, I get it -- because racism! Hahaha really unique social commentary guys. Never seen that punchline before hahaha. Keep it up!

        7 replies 1 retweet 1 like
      3. Nahledge‏ @Nahledgeispower Jul 19
        Replying to @ShimshockAndAwe @TheOnion

        You probably shouldn't be following @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 78 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. The New Courtyard‏ @courtyardian Jul 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He's got glasses, meaning he's going to steal books, like the filthy bookworm he is.

        0 replies 1 retweet 21 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Leila Fong‏ @leila_fong Jul 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But don't try to use a coupon!

        0 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Crayoh‏ @crayoh Jul 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wait til he gets to the pharmacy desk and the pharmacist finds some crazy religious reason to discriminate against him.

        1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Hell Ray‏ @TheHellRay Jul 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Fake news. Walgreens employees dont do shit but lay at their counters on their phones until someone checks out.

        2 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. The Mehtropolitan‏ @TheMehtro Jul 19
        Replying to @TheHellRay @TheOnion

        And those are the managers.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. imleftcoast‏ @imleftcoast Jul 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Amber Says What on Seth Meyers "They treat me like a Queen at CVS . . . they walk around behind me."

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      3. The Mehtropolitan‏ @TheMehtro Jul 19
        Replying to @imleftcoast @TheOnion

        Amber is a national treasure.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. imleftcoast‏ @imleftcoast Jul 19
        Replying to @TheMehtro @TheOnion

        100% agree,

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. _Ryker‏ @_Ryker Jul 19
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What’s his @ tho. He cute.pic.twitter.com/oxpGnoxEwY

        1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      3. HQ2point0‏ @HQ2point0 Jul 19
        Replying to @_Ryker @TheOnion

        🤢 thirsty

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. _Ryker‏ @_Ryker Jul 19
        Replying to @HQ2point0 @TheOnion

        Irrelevant 🤡

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation

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