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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 16

    Jeff Bezos Tables Latest Breakthrough Cost-Cutting Idea After Realizing It’s Just Slaves https://trib.al/f3dcW8W pic.twitter.com/Zh25TI9NNZ

    9:45 AM - 16 Jul 2018
    • 4,886 Retweets
    • 16,768 Likes
    • Auggie De Jesus christina ethan REGISTER TO VOTE Michael Robuenault 🗣️{💀💀💀} 𝕸𝖎𝖌𝖚𝖊𝖑☭🕸️🕷️🎃 Maria Joy Oliver-Chavez Urinalking
    100 replies 4,886 retweets 16,768 likes
      1. Misgivings‏ @lacunalingua Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion @Mark__Bray

        “Having more money than god is just not good enough anymore,” Bezos said, lighting a match for his cigar on the back of one of his harangued office workers.

        0 replies 8 retweets 103 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Find me on Mastodon‏ @AmyDentata Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this, except for real and he didn't table it

        0 replies 2 retweets 44 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Norman Shaw‏ @normshaw61 Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Excuse me sir, I mean the Prisoners that Work. - Thor Ragnarok

        1 reply 1 retweet 28 likes
      3. Amy‏ @Pianoandpage Jul 17
        Replying to @normshaw61 @TheOnion

        prisoners with jobs

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Celeste Drake‏ @CDrakeFairTrade Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        As many @Onion headlines are these days, this is a little too close to the truth.

        1 reply 3 retweets 97 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Grouchoral Marxist‏ @daveleack Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Did they mean 'shelves'? Furniture metaphors are hard :(

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Grouchoral Marxist‏ @daveleack Jul 16
        Replying to @daveleack @TheOnion

        Scratch that, it's a US/UK distinction. "In the rest of the English-speaking world, such as in the United Kingdom and Canada, to "table" means to begin consideration (or reconsideration) of a proposal"

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      4. Ison Daya‏ @Reutan Jul 16
        Replying to @daveleack @TheOnion

        Huh, that's interesting. From a technical sense we use it the same way, but in a different direction. "We'll put it down, and reconsider it later" rather than the moment of raising it again.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Grouchoral Marxist‏ @daveleack Jul 16
        Replying to @Reutan @TheOnion

        I think you do also say "All options are on the table" to mean available, and "Bring something to the table" to mean offer. Makes me wonder what peeps in the US are doing with their proposals that putting on the table is *de-escalation*. Waving them over your heads? :D

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. Ison Daya‏ @Reutan Jul 16
        Replying to @daveleack @TheOnion

        Hah! It feels like it sometimes. To think about it literally, I think in the US we think about holding a proposal in our hands when looking at it, and thus tabling would be laying it down, off to the side, to pick up the next item.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      7. Spoopy Spoonie Enby‏ @McNutcase Jul 16
        Replying to @Reutan @daveleack @TheOnion

        This is why, as a former Brit now living as an American, I never use "table" as a verb.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      8. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2.  🌹 No Friend of Kissinger Scott Wooledge‏ @Clarknt67 Jul 17
        Replying to @estrusflask @TheOnion

        Yet…

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3.  🍃Melinda 🍃‏ @BlackRose96 Jul 17
        Replying to @Clarknt67 @estrusflask @TheOnion

        That's Dr. Evil's next venture...#SlaveLaborPrime For $300 yearly membership. 😂😂😂

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      4.  🌹 No Friend of Kissinger Scott Wooledge‏ @Clarknt67 Jul 17
        Replying to @BlackRose96 @estrusflask @TheOnion

        It could be in place already and just awaiting an Intercept expose.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5.  🍃Melinda 🍃‏ @BlackRose96 Jul 17
        Replying to @Clarknt67 @estrusflask @TheOnion

        How else will he reach $200 billion mark...you know this his new goal. 😂😂😂😫😫😫

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Constantine Singer‏ @ajaxsinger Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's only satire when it pushes beyond truth into the absurd. Simply stating reality and expecting a wry chuckle doesnt cut it.

        1 reply 0 retweets 24 likes
      3. lazy dumb earth abuser‏ @Dix_Lel Jul 17
        Replying to @ajaxsinger @TheOnion

        It *is* absurd to think that he would discard the idea...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation

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