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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 16

    New Zipcarp Service Offers Short-Term Carp Rentals https://trib.al/S6OEd71 pic.twitter.com/7Ehxq62vvq

    6:34 AM - 16 Jul 2018
    • 475 Retweets
    • 2,833 Likes
    • HumanFrequencyTrader Yudron Wangmo 🏕 dragonsmark u a aging millenial zach Tyler Shook Killer Shrews dayna Asher Mercer
    48 replies 475 retweets 2,833 likes
      1. Andrew Jarratt‏ @andrewjarratt Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        FINALLY

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Doesn’t Get Satire/Parody‏ @NoSatireForMe Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What’s the point though? What do you do with a short-term carp rental?

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Free Coffee‏ @DedOrbit Jul 16
        Replying to @NoSatireForMe @TheOnion

        Everything you could otherwise do with a long-term carp, but more briefly.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2.  🍹Drunk@Disney 🍍‏ @DrunkAtdisney Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Dismadl ... re: our convo

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Dis Madl‏ @Dismadl Jul 16
        Replying to @DrunkAtdisney @TheOnion

        That’s great! The randomness always amazes me.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. kevinparkerusa‏ @kevinparkerusa Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Do they also offer Motor Pikes and Side Carps?

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Sam Palasota‏ @SamPalasota Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Watch out GroUBER there's a new fish in the sea!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Katie‏ @kvothefirst Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @StasiaVRD

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Anastasia VRD‏ @StasiaVRD Jul 16
        Replying to @kvothefirst @TheOnion

        I looked at this and thought “wow I hope this is what kvo tagged me in” and you did not disappoint

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Caroline Crasnick‏ @ccrasnick Jul 18
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @feather_kasey @VirginiaaPope lolololol carp rentals

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1.  ➡ negative bank account balance‏ @napsandcats Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Living the dreampic.twitter.com/zyyIOR5Uaa

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. L. L. Beanflicker‏ @bflicker_05 Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion @DrewWestLA

        Yeah but everybody forgets what a pain in the ass it is to clean the carp and ready it for the next user.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jake‏ @jake___max Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @thesaiguy co op?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. egregious philbin‏ @ViceroyThicc Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Kelsey_Schmidt1

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Andy McGrath‏ @mcgratherium Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @jacobbroseph @RelationBack

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Luke Kuechly‏ @NotLukeKuechly Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @NicholasOllila

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Kip Rogers‏ @amazingkip Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Where was this ten years ago when I actually needed it? #fml

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1.  🍓 kayla  🍓‏ @kaylafinstein Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @zacharycalman

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Ori Fienberg‏ @OJconfesses Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's like the Romans said, "seize the carp"!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Southern Kentucky DSA‏ @SoKYDSA Jul 16
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is only somewhat novel in late stage capitalism.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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