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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 15

    U.S. Military Announces Plan To Consolidate All Wars Into Final, Epic Battle https://trib.al/NBI4KRx pic.twitter.com/Tz8xQ5fBCX

    3:47 PM - 15 Jul 2018
    • 792 Retweets
    • 4,158 Likes
    • Rob W 🇨🇦 HedBot Uncle Crunkle 'Mbassie  The  News  Cat     One Small  Mew A Blue Robot Baby You Hit So Hard DaZombinatrixx💀VOTE!🗳 Eva Ostlind patsy stone detemple
    70 replies 792 retweets 4,158 likes
      1. Daniel Spring‏ @fatsculler Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “The POTUS would like to apologise for the USA being late to the first 2 World Wars, by being really early for the 3rd”

        0 replies 1 retweet 76 likes
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      1. lucas‏ @LukeRam41 Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        World War: Battle Royale

        0 replies 0 retweets 27 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Piero  💜‏ @PieroMan Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/kSCnDhaNWh

        3 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
      3. Jake‏ @jakeryder161 Jul 15
        Replying to @PieroMan @TheOnion

        Quality reply, fatality.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Piero  💜‏ @PieroMan Jul 15
        Replying to @jakeryder161 @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/B51GD1YtQ4

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Starts shopping for four large horses.

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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      1. Calamity2007‏ @Morg_Hunter Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Quit predicting the future Onion.

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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      1. john mckessy‏ @mck_john Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm for anything that stops those 'Fast and Furious' films being made, nuclear armageddon included.

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Dianna Amick‏ @dlamick Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And at the end of this war, all toilet paper shall be hung in the correct position. So it is written.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. yes•it•goes•on•&•on•my•friend‏ @mariahnelson Jul 15
        Replying to @dlamick @TheOnion

        That being the over position of course.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Dianna Amick‏ @dlamick Jul 15
        Replying to @mariahnelson @TheOnion

        IT'S SO OBVIOUS! But we'll fight this war anyway...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. James Shannon‏ @pursuexcitement Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        War ... war never changes.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Darek Baird‏ @darekB52 Jul 15
        Replying to @pursuexcitement @TheOnion

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxLrDUyuw1E&list=PLD36fz3lvV-hEJ6m6eFJsJap5w2DSggO4 … I direct you to the first 30 or so seconds of this video.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Macheeze 🧀‏ @macheeze_ Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Will it have Battle Royale?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Frank Shandor‏ @TowerOfShandor Jul 15
        Replying to @macheeze_ @TheOnion

        With blackjack and hookers.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Tweet unavailable
      5. Frank Shandor‏ @TowerOfShandor Jul 15
        Replying to @macheeze_ @TheOnion

        Always pushing the envelope.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. @_@‏Verified account @Muzzafuzza Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        World War 3: #BattleRoyale

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. john mckessy‏ @mck_john Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Peace will last only as long as it takes someone to ask, 'Who ate the last non-radioactive doughnut?'

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. David 🌍 🕷 ⚡ 🐶 ✴Bowie‏ @DGoweyAuthor Jul 15
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's called Dominionism.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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