Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 12

    Buckingham Palace Guards Impressed By First Lady’s Ability To Never Crack Smile https://trib.al/yVhCCfP pic.twitter.com/9hpOzcnKBG

    3:37 PM - 12 Jul 2018
    • 1,017 Retweets
    • 6,851 Likes
    • ying ying Manali Neeck Craig Kilgore KATHRYN MINNIS @passionatelife Jorge H.R. Ronnie Whaley 🇵🇭 OrdoLiberalism🎃🇺🇸 salty mango Terry
    146 replies 1,017 retweets 6,851 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Pete N  🇺🇸‏ @Pete_NY1 Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion @questar1959_ron

        What could @FLOTUS possibly have to smile about? Look what @MELANIATRUMP is married too 👇pic.twitter.com/LdTUn67W4f

        1 reply 3 retweets 26 likes
      3. Nick Oz Oztrazine‏ @oztrazine Jul 12
        Replying to @Pete_NY1 @TheOnion and

        Even before the power of Presidancy he was easily defeated by scots with simple balloons. #BalloonTheGoonpic.twitter.com/N0z68W7jMG

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Francis Chavando‏ @muckymucks Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Being dead inside has its perks.

        3 replies 0 retweets 55 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Lowrider  🥃‏ @lshoes32_ Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s the Botox.

        1 reply 0 retweets 32 likes
      3. Nick Oz Oztrazine‏ @oztrazine Jul 12
        Replying to @lshoes32_ @TheOnion

        I’s say it was daily electro shock therapy more like ;)

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2.  🌻VEE 🌻‏ @MissVeeBee Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #beautyandthebeastpic.twitter.com/V28CeK8gVW

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Chance Ravinne‏ @WINGSPANTT Jul 12
        Replying to @MissVeeBee @TheOnion

        The thing is, Belle reads

        1 reply 1 retweet 5 likes
      4.  🌻VEE 🌻‏ @MissVeeBee Jul 12
        Replying to @WINGSPANTT @TheOnion

        And the Beast has a good heart- purely superficial!

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. Chance Ravinne‏ @WINGSPANTT Jul 12
        Replying to @MissVeeBee @TheOnion

        Overall true though he basically didn't have to learn any lessons b/c after scorning a woman based on her looks, the next one that showed up was basically a runway model.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Real Resisting Robin‏ @mahootna2 Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion @DrMel_T

        To be fair would you smile?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Real Resisting Robin‏ @mahootna2 Jul 12
        Replying to @DrMel_T @TheOnion

        Yep. I can’t comprehend the whole situation. Frightening as it is bizarre. :(

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Rosie‏ @glitter_rgsv Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Give her a break she just had a facelift it still hurts

        1 reply 1 retweet 15 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Eduard Vaykher‏ @freelight97 Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not entirely true.pic.twitter.com/jJPWJimDBc

        1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. TavernWitch 🎃‏ @TavernWench Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion @flintworks

        Amazing the effect that kidney surgery had on the angle of her eyes.

        1 reply 1 retweet 15 likes
      3. Nick Oz Oztrazine‏ @oztrazine Jul 12
        Replying to @TavernWench @TheOnion @flintworks

        And alarmingly her breast size, Me thinks Don put her under the knife coz he knew that Theresa May would give him brewers droop.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Smarmac‏ @smartel3 Jul 12
        Replying to @oztrazine @TavernWench and

        YESSSSSSS!!! She's almost reached pro levelpic.twitter.com/TfgGwa8iUc

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Nick Oz Oztrazine‏ @oztrazine Jul 12
        Replying to @smartel3 @TavernWench and

        Jeeeeeesus, It that the live feed from Old Don’s bathroom mirror?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info