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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 12

    "Things are tight financially right now. This in no way means I will not please that booty. Do not believe for one second that you will not feel like a queen. You will simply feel like a queen of a less prosperous country." https://trib.al/EAOguht pic.twitter.com/i8UG4MObYW

    8:14 AM - 12 Jul 2018
    • 200 Retweets
    • 933 Likes
    • 8/16/1977 RIP Elvis Hannah SK@PSO2 Ship 5 Dick Johnson 1/8th Cherokee for President Jack Pearce Robert David Occams angel
    23 replies 200 retweets 933 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. BLÅSPH€MŸ™‏ @mehorshiboo Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "I should point out that I will not have my finest crystal champagne flutes on hand as I am concerned that they may be crushed by an unexpected fit of passion or stolen by raccoons with exquisite taste."

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Extraordinary Machine‏ @next_mom_up Jul 12
        Replying to @mehorshiboo @TheOnion

        Everyone know who dey talkin’ bout @ProperOpinion

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Louise Sorensen‏ @louise3anne Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion @VerinEmpire

        Love is priceless.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Zuzu Griffin‏ @Zuzu_writer Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        THE ONION!!!!!!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jon‏ @badassryan_ Jul 13
        Replying to @TheOnion

        LMAO... Smoove where you been bro?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Merito Coffee‏ @MeritoCoffee Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “along with cheese and chorizo from that meat market where the employees have either long beards, arm tattoos, or both” oh shit son, Smoove been @Broadway_Mkt

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ms. Williams‏ @MsWilliamsWorld Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Smoove!!!! Where has he been???!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Luis Martinez‏ @martin28201619 Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Fine literature onion, just fine 😏

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Leesa Lee‏ @Naelee17 Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. The Silence  🙍🏿‍♂️‏ @The_Silence_Pix Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hahaha

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. jasmine‏ @jasminemichigan Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yuk🤢🤮

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Jon‏ @badassryan_ Jul 13
        Replying to @jasminemichigan @TheOnion

        Whatever. Just admit it made you moist.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. John Toilet‏ @fullweird Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is smoove b back oh my god

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Mr.MasterPudding (Jason S.)‏ @fatcatpunt Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        1300 words on Twitter is a big ask #onion I feel a sense of accomplishment though, akin to finishing war and peace in high school (abridged); when books were still a thing. I need a nap, maybe some Luther Vandross, maybe both

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Timothy mcbu‏ @felixmac09 Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Smoov is the best

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. SCI_Crypto Schools‏ @Satoshitoo Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/EjFWpA7ZYK

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. (((David Bennun)))‏ @DavidBennun Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion @BDStanley

        The line about raccoons is 👌.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. MonaLisaJones‏ @MonaLisa_Jones Jul 12
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My King.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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