Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 11

    Aspiring Politician Hopes Government Leaves Some Women’s Rights For Him To Gut One Day https://trib.al/NnG9SZo pic.twitter.com/iv71nlMGlx

    9:13 AM - 11 Jul 2018
    • 490 Retweets
    • 2,332 Likes
    • UnamusedOwl Barbaralicious Gina Russell Aleks 🌈 HappyRogue Ashley Kelly 💖💜💙 Michael Foucault 🇳🇬 Judge Juche 🇳🇬 Antonio
    26 replies 490 retweets 2,332 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. ℨ𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔶 𝔜𝔞𝔯𝔬‏ @ZMYaro Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought The Onion only published fake stories.

        1 reply 0 retweets 23 likes
      3. Alex‏ @AlexGentryHTX Jul 11
        Replying to @ZMYaro @TheOnion

        You’re the first person to ever tweet this

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2.  ▫️meowmeow ▫️‏ @PeachRoses22 Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        His name is either “Cayden” or “Kyler”

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. JeñJeñ  🤦🏻‍♀️‏ @jenilane29 Jul 11
        Replying to @PeachRoses22 @TheOnion

        His full name is Wilmington Huntington Kyler Smith Yancey III. His fraternity brothers called him "Whiskey 3."

        0 replies 1 retweet 5 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jezmina Noell‏ @noellspeaks Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The onion is so real it's hardly funny anymore.

        0 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jed MacKay‏ @indelible_jed Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Aspiring Republican politician.

        0 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Southern Kentucky DSA‏ @SoKYDSA Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Politicians be like "Yeah I support socialism but I'm running as a corporate hack bc thats how you get things done"

        0 replies 2 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. MapleLeafForever‏ @Mumnotmom Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I want to laugh, I do; it's just.....

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Leslie SayimaDreamer‏ @earthspeakorg Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Might have to join the church 🤷🏽‍♀️

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Luke, but like, a zombie or something like that‏ @LPL8717 Jul 11
        Replying to @earthspeakorg @TheOnion

        He already is, that's why he has such horrible ideas

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. amelia‏ @a_me1ia Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @meredithcws sorry I keep tagging u in everything but look lmao

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Meredith‏ @meredithcws Jul 11
        Replying to @a_me1ia @TheOnion

        you know when The Onion is so on point that it's actually deeply depressing

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Zuzu Griffin‏ @Zuzu_writer Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wow when @TheOnion gets it right, boy do they get it right.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. paranor Monica Guerra‏ @monaloca Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Such ambition is electrifying

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Luke, but like, a zombie or something like that‏ @LPL8717 Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh, I see a notification from The Onion. I think "Glorious laughs ahead". And you just go hit us with a real story again. Nice play Onion, nice play.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. The Last Quagga‏ @LastQuagga Jul 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @PvtYwngmn this but unironically

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. YWNGMN‏ @PvtYwngmn Jul 11
        Replying to @Argue_and_chill @LastQuagga

        Your following base says you're right to comment on anything perhaps to even breathe should be in question

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. The Last Quagga‏ @LastQuagga Jul 11
        Replying to @PvtYwngmn @Argue_and_chill

        Hy's Frans, so sy opinie op enigiets tel nie werklik nie

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Argue and chill‏ @Argue_and_chill Jul 11
        Replying to @LastQuagga @PvtYwngmn

        LMAO are you 2 best friends? Do you give each other bjs because no girl would ever touch you? It's ok, i dont judge :D

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info