I thought The Onion only published fake stories.
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You’re the first person to ever tweet this
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His name is either “Cayden” or “Kyler”
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His full name is Wilmington Huntington Kyler Smith Yancey III. His fraternity brothers called him "Whiskey 3."
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The onion is so real it's hardly funny anymore.
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Aspiring Republican politician.
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Politicians be like "Yeah I support socialism but I'm running as a corporate hack bc thats how you get things done"
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I want to laugh, I do; it's just.....
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Might have to join the church

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He already is, that's why he has such horrible ideas
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@meredithcws sorry I keep tagging u in everything but look lmao -
you know when The Onion is so on point that it's actually deeply depressing
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Wow when
@TheOnion gets it right, boy do they get it right.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Such ambition is electrifying
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Oh, I see a notification from The Onion. I think "Glorious laughs ahead". And you just go hit us with a real story again. Nice play Onion, nice play.
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@PvtYwngmn this but unironically -
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Your following base says you're right to comment on anything perhaps to even breathe should be in question
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Hy's Frans, so sy opinie op enigiets tel nie werklik nie
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LMAO are you 2 best friends? Do you give each other bjs because no girl would ever touch you? It's ok, i dont judge :D
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