ICE called to check her immigration status, examined for viability of eggs.
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It's a leather-back and we know how dangerous those leather wearing immigrants are.
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no pockets for its ID card
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Being held for questioning, charges of illegal fauna smuggling expected.
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This sound like some real shit that’d happen to be honest
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This is the Onion's biggest problem at this point. We have jumped the shark so bad that sarcasm and dark humor is not even able to be as radical as our reality.
End of conversation
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McConnell was super pissed no one recognized him.
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Awful. Expecting to enjoy the genetics without paying. Typical turtle behaviour
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Private?
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Eliza! She should have just called! When I told her I wasn't the father, I didn't mean she couldn't sleep on my couch! :P
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Why not just leave the turtle since its nesting? Idiots!
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The Nesting Sea Turtle was Escorted From That Private Beach because Bettina & Ollie Mortimer III had a "Save The Planet" event.
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She obviously doesn’t belong to the HOA
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They never read the sign!
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Private beach? Wtf
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