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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 7

    Nesting Sea Turtle Escorted From Private Beach https://trib.al/fcUe9vG pic.twitter.com/uSdX37LGsX

    8:00 PM - 7 Jul 2018
    • 203 Retweets
    • 1,340 Likes
    • Elizabeth Edgington leave jill stein alone Zim Zamington Ian Hamilton Trish Klein Burger Liam 🦇Bat🦇son MPz Gerald Evans Alex “the homie” Jones
    35 replies 203 retweets 1,340 likes
      1. Misgivings‏ @lacunalingua Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ICE called to check her immigration status, examined for viability of eggs.

        0 replies 1 retweet 17 likes
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      1. Jim‏ @Landorcan Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's a leather-back and we know how dangerous those leather wearing immigrants are.

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
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      1. Seb on Meds‏ @Pgh_Pete Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        no pockets for its ID card 😕

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. (semi-ethereal)PeripheralNinja 2: The ReNinja-ing‏ @xusTIrettiwt Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Being held for questioning, charges of illegal fauna smuggling expected.

        0 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Gr3mLi7E 🌹‏ @LabroneJr Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This sound like some real shit that’d happen to be honest

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Jim‏ @Landorcan Jul 7
        Replying to @LabroneJr @TheOnion

        This is the Onion's biggest problem at this point. We have jumped the shark so bad that sarcasm and dark humor is not even able to be as radical as our reality.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jeff Jacobsen‏ @Synapsesame Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        McConnell was super pissed no one recognized him.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Just Paul‏ @S1R1USme Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Awful. Expecting to enjoy the genetics without paying. Typical turtle behaviour

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. MakeAmericaTheBest‏ @MakeAmericaBest Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        https://bit.ly/2lZfcih 

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Onur‏ @real_Onur Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Private?

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Julian Braun‏ @JulianBraun17 Jul 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Eliza! She should have just called! When I told her I wasn't the father, I didn't mean she couldn't sleep on my couch! :P

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. ducky boy‏ @stuffonmyduck69 Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why not just leave the turtle since its nesting? Idiots!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Alex Preiss‏ @AlexPreiss4 Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The Nesting Sea Turtle was Escorted From That Private Beach because Bettina & Ollie Mortimer III had a "Save The Planet" event.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Evan Stone‏ @AdriftOfBulls Jul 8
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She obviously doesn’t belong to the HOA

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Han Shot First‏ @han__shot_first Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They never read the sign!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. SummChum4u‏ @princessGibbler Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Private beach? Wtf

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. MADE FOR WIGS.‏ @Empty_Xone Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. erica‏ @emoya218 Jul 7
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheOnion

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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