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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 6

    Towels Across Water Park Lounge Chairs Mark Family’s Ironclad Claim https://trib.al/IDfjikD pic.twitter.com/IxRxKpzWV8

    3:27 PM - 6 Jul 2018
    • 264 Retweets
    • 1,892 Likes
    • al pal KREAGS goatse 2020 iggy Spooky Tassneam DJ Sm0ke just call me meatus Sean McLean Josh Spicer
    18 replies 264 retweets 1,892 likes
      1. Rodney"Reciprocity”Claeys Vote November 6  🌊‏ @RodneyClaeys Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Damn right! The beach towel is a family's flag!

        0 replies 1 retweet 13 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Tom Martinka‏ @rockonmilwaukee Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        From dawn to dusk we will defend them with our honor !!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      3. Tom Martinka‏ @rockonmilwaukee Jul 6
        Replying to @rockonmilwaukee @TheOnion

        And the beach towel ,,,,....actually mostly with beach towels hardly any honor !

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Ted Wright‏ @TedWrightMedia Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @brawnergreer, legal opinion please.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Brawner Greer‏ @brawnergreer Jul 7
        Replying to @TedWrightMedia @TheOnion

        I would have to look into it in more detail, but I think the family desiring the allegedly claimed chairs is allowed to request trial by combat to resolve the dispute. But could be rock, paper, scissors in some jurisdictions

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Rob Z Tobor‏ @Rob_Z_Tobor Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This does not however work well in a McDonald's.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Ryan Steven‏ @RSteven_Y Jul 6
        Replying to @donyewchin @TheOnion

        I appreciate you responding to a DM in a tweet because it’s an elite dad move.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Brody Logan‏Verified account @BrodyLogan Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @patmuldowney

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. pat muldowney‏Verified account @patmuldowney Jul 6
        Replying to @BrodyLogan @TheOnion

        !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Brody Logan‏Verified account @BrodyLogan Jul 6
        Replying to @patmuldowney @TheOnion

        instantly made me think of your apartment saga

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. pat muldowney‏Verified account @patmuldowney Jul 6
        Replying to @BrodyLogan @TheOnion

        this is instantly my favorite onion article of all time

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. Real Fake News‏ @RealFakeNew Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ah yes, the towel battle of 2014...we lost a lot of brave men that day...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Travos Music‏ @el_travos Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        House Stark next to the lazy river

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Greg Voltz‏ @voltzgj Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What's your take on the towel left on the lounge move @TonyClarkCP?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Amusement Insider‏ @InsideAmusement Jul 6
        Replying to @voltzgj @TheOnion @TonyClarkCP

        sucks for people who don't have early entry on a hot day, there's no way you get a chair.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Amy Hargreaves‏Verified account @AmyHargreavesNY Jul 6
        Replying to @TheOnion

        True story

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Thomas‏ @nvrenoughcoffee Jul 6
        Replying to @AmyHargreavesNY @TheOnion

        What about when there’s a pair of old shoes at the foot of the lounger but no towel. Fair game?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Amy Hargreaves‏Verified account @AmyHargreavesNY Jul 6
        Replying to @nvrenoughcoffee @TheOnion

        Nah gotta have a towel.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. 1 more reply

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