Your best headline ever.
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Cat General Says War On String May Be Unwinnable https://www.theonion.com/cat-general-says-war-on-string-may-be-unwinnable-1819581055 … Aerospace Engineers Warn First-Grader’s Design For Spaceship Completely Unsafehttps://www.theonion.com/aerospace-engineers-warn-first-grader-s-design-for-spac-1819577761 …
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That's pretty good too, as is https://www.theonion.com/raccoon-crushed-to-death-by-garbage-truck-hits-jackpot-1825472307 ….
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Not bad, not bad.

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God you guys are so consistently hilarious
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Please send him to the White House
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It's nature's napalm...
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Love that
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Um, bro, they make a button for that reaction. :)
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Umbrella rentals soar.
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JR smith barely makes it to anything in life on time
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This is a load of CRAP!
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Had a cousin of his make a trip to my eyebrow in front of a bus stop once... NEVER TRUST THESE FLYING BASTARDS!
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“...barely makes it to my car on time.”
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