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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 5

    Relationship Experts Recommend Single Women Try Bathing In Open Stream Until Suitor Glimpses Them Through Trees https://trib.al/6sancXR pic.twitter.com/q0Hc59xUln

    8:59 AM - 5 Jul 2018
    • 1,617 Retweets
    • 10,820 Likes
    • Jonathan Cross aidan Mads Klem Orloff dan BrotherEJ kaitlyn_is_queen_red Amanda Mcguire Independent a.
    141 replies 1,617 retweets 10,820 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Mike‏ @Palmo53 Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion @benshapiro

        Oh sure when a woman does it she finds her noble suitor. But when I do it I have if leave the water park

        2 replies 6 retweets 177 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Sorcerer Deluxe‏ @SorcererDeluxe Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The problem here as a potential suitor is that there’s no way to tell if you’re seeing a single woman or a goddess which will turn you to a deer to be torn apart by your own hunting dogs. Advising this practice is irresponsible of the experts.

        2 replies 2 retweets 64 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Noemie Emery‏ @NoemieEmery1 Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion @JonahNRO

        Also recommend that they look like the model. And they shouldn't get eaten by bears.

        3 replies 2 retweets 34 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Luann Peacock‏ @LuannGPeacock Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Or a water tower with your sisters. I learned that one from "Petticoat Junction"!

        0 replies 1 retweet 27 likes
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      1. Brenda Nuckton‏ @OperaBrendaSLP Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...where the church elders will spy on her, try to blackmail her into having sex with them, accuse her of adultery when she refuses, put her on trial...

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
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      1. Rob Dibble‏Verified account @robdibble49 Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion @benshapiro

        It’s how I met my wife!

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
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      1. Tyler‏ @Tysbeendrinking Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/sL53HQTTn0

        0 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
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      1. Telytubisavalas‏ @Telytubisavalas Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ok, but sometimes women bathing in an open stream are nymphs who are just going to drown you. There has to be a better way.

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Hoodie Alien‏ @Hoodie_Alien Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion @benshapiro

        pic.twitter.com/6Vacg0XESf

        3 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Rachelle‏ @Rachelle5776 Jul 5

        Thanks for making me laugh!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Babe of the Abyss‏ @ssshheeemusic Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This just in: American streams are actually just rivers of poison from agricultural and manufacturing run off. Bathing no longer advised

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Gordon Derry‏ @Rockster001 Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That'd only work in Scotland for those who're happy knowing that their "perfect match" is a sad, weird loner, willing to wait - for many days and hours - somewhere secluded downstream, to collect their bloated, lifeless corpse, and take it home for "friendship... maybe more!"

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. Gordon Derry‏ @Rockster001 Jul 5
        Replying to @Rockster001 @TheOnion

        I'm saying, it's too cold to bathe in Scottish rivers. It could be fatal!

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      4. Bryce Werekatz‏ @brycekatz Jul 5
        Replying to @Rockster001 @TheOnion

        No true Scotsman would ever say such a thing!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Gordon Derry‏ @Rockster001 Jul 6
        Replying to @brycekatz @TheOnion

        One just did. (see above)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. boingboingbbeep‏ @boingboingbbeep Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXpRxzmawjw …

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Sylv‏ @JR_sylv Jul 5
        Replying to @boingboingbbeep @TheOnion

        Must watch movie folks

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation

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