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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 5

    Mariana Trench Once Again Named Worst Place To Raise Child https://trib.al/wbt4SzZ pic.twitter.com/CCUWHHakYX

    5:41 AM - 5 Jul 2018
    • 1,217 Retweets
    • 8,107 Likes
    • MordekaiPhillips Karan Khanse Bill Artlip Graham Reynolds Bruce Cannon manic-nomadic Lily Pedersen Lady Mac Leonard
    109 replies 1,217 retweets 8,107 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Alexander‏ @greekdude Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I bet parents there are under a lot of pressure.

        4 replies 3 retweets 264 likes
      3. Nicholas Blaettler‏ @pimliOprentiss Jul 5
        Replying to @greekdude @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/Fmzdj8bC7y

        0 replies 0 retweets 29 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Damon‏ @Badmotherrucker Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well, I heard that Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact it’s cold as hell.

        6 replies 0 retweets 76 likes
      3. A Fan Since 2009‏ @pizzavampire1 Jul 5
        Replying to @Badmotherrucker @TheOnion

        Plus, there is no one there to raise them. If you did.

        1 reply 0 retweets 41 likes
      4. Rankinginsight‏ @rankinginsight Jul 5
        Replying to @pizzavampire1 @Badmotherrucker @TheOnion

        And all this science, I don’t understand... It’s just my job 5 days a week for goodness sake! 😉 - The answer must be that I need to spend more time on Twitter 🤔 (and practice my piano 🎶 and my emoji karate 🥋)

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      5. Damon‏ @Badmotherrucker Jul 5
        Replying to @rankinginsight @pizzavampire1 @TheOnion

        Yeah, that would probably help. If you look hard enough, all answers are in song lyrics, or blowing in the wind.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. 1 more reply
      1. Good Boy‏ @GoodBoy10204293 Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Likely due to the immense pressure put on children there. And the poor folks who start at the bottom, never had a chance.

        0 replies 1 retweet 88 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Eric Radford‏Verified account @Rad85E Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I am DEEPLY disturbed by this...

        1 reply 1 retweet 36 likes
      3. spooks and hoops‏ @LordAssRash Jul 5
        Replying to @Rad85E @TheOnion

        *weak-ish rimshot*

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jamesrdunn‏ @Jamesrdunn2 Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion @chickmcgee1

        This is Abyssmal.

        0 replies 0 retweets 26 likes
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      1. Solacini @ Halloween‏ @Solacini Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Excuse me? I've raised all 30 of my merman children down in that trench, and they grew up to be perfectly fine and productive. I will NOT take this slander. The Onion is fake news. Unfollowed and blocked.

        0 replies 1 retweet 15 likes
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      1. Charles Bonnar‏ @CBrex617 Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Came for the puns. Stayed from the pressure (ouch).

        0 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Misgivings‏ @lacunalingua Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “Look, I was raised in the Mariana Trench and I turned out okay,” says your grandad

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Richard Moore‏ @moore3t1 Jul 5
        Replying to @lacunalingua @TheOnion

        "When I was your age, we didn't have no fancy 'air' to breathe. And we were constantly under immense pressure."

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. buggin ♐️‏ @CASSEROLEBOY Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        housing prices fell in the Mariana Trench this morning after a report from the Onion

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Teej‏Verified account @TJCarpenterShow Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's very hard to grow up next to a tube worm.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. captain teemo and rakan‏ @Falt3r Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        there goes my plans for raising a family

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Spookergerber  👻‏ @Flerbergerber Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There's no way I'm the only one who saw an ass in the picture

        2 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. 1 more reply

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