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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jul 2

    Report: Mom Would Rather Sit Here And Watch You Guys Have Fun https://trib.al/UI8TmR1 pic.twitter.com/p85trQHOAs

    10:33 AM - 2 Jul 2018
    • 362 Retweets
    • 3,208 Likes
    • young donut 2.0 Ian Ord ✈ big baby bake Michael Foucault 🎃 Octrevor 🎃 Tim Sigler Kmancan12 Names is for Tombstones, Baby Milo Yiannopoulos
    20 replies 362 retweets 3,208 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Magical Ham Shake‏ @MagicalHamShake Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's because she's tired and feels dead inside.

        2 replies 1 retweet 32 likes
      3. Magical Ham Shake‏ @MagicalHamShake Jul 2
        Replying to @MagicalHamShake @TheOnion

        True story.

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Erika Allbright‏ @granniereads Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Because she planned the outing, packed everything for the whole family, refereed sibling fights in the car while driving, and earned the dough to pay for it all! Let her sit in peace!

        0 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
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      1. RIP mac miller & lil peep‏ @saturationseven Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Update: She has been joined by 3 more Moms, the discussion topic over coffee is unapparent at this time.

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
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      1. The Cryptillionaire Dude‏ @Jwitt777 Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just like my mom @GemCrypto @TheObsessions @haybrittnayy and @machinegunkelly she’s the best ever I love her so much, as long as im@happy she’s happy

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
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      1. Reefer Madness Elon‏ @RickSmi51253178 Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That's some damn accurate reporting.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Johnnew Archibald‏ @SMGJohn_EU Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Turns out, she was not a mum after all but an Al Qaeda terrorist plotting suicide bombing to kill all the mosquito.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. chris s‏ @hugoobrock Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Its called the Manchurian Candidate Syndrome, or MCS...anybody want orange slices...juice pack?...no? I see a red door and I want to paint it black.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Jason Townsend‏ @Imonaboat83 Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Or maybe she just has her We-Vibe in and dad's got the remote.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Matt Phillip‏ @Fipple Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Dad’s too

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. kuelz‏ @killsee Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @nmwooley

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. nice‏ @DisorientedDino Jul 5
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought The Onion was satire

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Christine‏ @georgesxtine Jul 3
        Replying to @TheOnion @johnonradio

        Ha

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Doug Roling‏ @DougRoling1 Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Where did all the years go by will they visit me when I'm in the retirement home

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. traceylynnsudduth‏ @traceylynnsudd1 Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Maybe she's drunk

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Manuel‏ @Life_IsNotBad Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😔

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tommy McPines‏ @TMcpines Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Waiting outside the strip club

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Christopher Williams‏ @ChrisDWillEsq Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Right in the feels...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This just in :mom figured out how to give all you guys a guilt trip.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Deadmond 👻 🌹‏ @FireyRedmond Jul 2
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is so wholesome

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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