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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 29

    Ethicists Update List Of Acceptable Things To Masturbate To https://trib.al/ztMrEi8 pic.twitter.com/1sxP1HLmL1

    7:34 PM - 29 Jun 2018
    • 292 Retweets
    • 1,484 Likes
    • jac Michael Foucault als Tim Sigler Sean McLean Creepy Crawly Christian 👻🎃🌹 Gakayna Strawbirry Wolf Michael S. 🅱️incent DiLorenzo
    37 replies 292 retweets 1,484 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. €ricÏdlefan‏ @DrColinfan Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just the pictures, or do you need to have a live swordfish in your room?

        1 reply 0 retweets 29 likes
      3. Evan Schultheis‏ @EvanSchultheis Jun 29
        Replying to @DrColinfan @TheOnion

        That's a Sailfish, swordfish are still considered a sin.

        0 replies 2 retweets 30 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Adam‏ @pyrogenix Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        this just looks like a shitpostbot meme smh

        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. Caleb‏ @Ca1ebSica Jun 29
        Replying to @pyrogenix @TheOnion

        Yeah the only difference is that this one gets money for it

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Dick Murphy-Scott‏ @HoboSantaCruz Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So glad to know this. Is it acceptable to use these tools in public? Especially love the Kurt Russell photo.

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Mandy Joy‏ @Seek_your_Bliss Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/BNpEnppEuH

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. Swagy‏ @NotSwagy Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Swordfish Is still on the ok list right?

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Joey Wolf but spookier‏ @MisterJWolf Jun 29
        Replying to @NotSwagy @TheOnion

        The movie, or the fish?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Swagy‏ @NotSwagy Jun 29
        Replying to @MisterJWolf @TheOnion

        Halle berry is a hall of famer. Never leaves the list

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Joey Wolf but spookier‏ @MisterJWolf Jun 29
        Replying to @NotSwagy @TheOnion

        The movie is no longer okay. Please move to the aquarium.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. Ironpelvis‏ @Ironpelvis_IV Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/fCZvm3FX65

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Full Moon Dogstin  🌚‏ @PocoDoco Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I approve of Kurt Russell

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. violin boy‏ @kevinxvenom Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @BassKurtis check it out

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. kim dunn‏ @kmjdu Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion @absrdNEWS

        Kurt Russell?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Peter Natale‏ @peterjnataleesq Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/myEtFPS8EH

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Ocular Nervosa‏ @ocularnervosa Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        3 out of 6. Wait, is that Kirt Russeil?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. MATTHEW MAGUIRE‏ @MATTHEW72081434 Jun 30
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When masturbation is outlawed only outlaws will masturbate🎳pic.twitter.com/ikk7J5xqmd

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Tack Hammer‏ @tack_hammer Jun 29
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s not my fault if the teddy bear dresses up in suggestive clothing.pic.twitter.com/Tg4YLXvOWV

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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