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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 26

    Man Who Has Never Seen Horseshoe Crab Before Understandably Freaking The Fuck Out https://trib.al/Cl4iERq pic.twitter.com/EvXw1C0j5g

    8:05 AM - 26 Jun 2018
    • 557 Retweets
    • 3,726 Likes
    • K Birchfield Emit Max Gallner twelten Mafal78 Toski ellie Mauricio Belden T.J. A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V🐝
    31 replies 557 retweets 3,726 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Sorcerer Deluxe‏ @SorcererDeluxe Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm pretty sure those things can only reproduce by laying eggs in human faces.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. KaciusMaximus‏ @KaciusMaximus Jun 26
        Replying to @SorcererDeluxe @TheOnion

        That is a common misconception, demonising these creatures. In fact they impregnate your stomach cavity via a tube down the esophagus, until the eggs hatch the next time you're having dinner.

        1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
      4. Sorcerer Deluxe‏ @SorcererDeluxe Jun 26
        Replying to @KaciusMaximus @TheOnion

        I've spent 30 years thinking horseshoe crabs lay eggs in faces rather than stomachs. You learn something every day. Thanks for the knowledge!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1.  🎃Boris Kaos-loff 👻  🌹‏ @AgentSiegfried Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Chugging along virtually unchanged for 450 million years, will probably still be around 450 million years from now as compared to Homo Sapiens determined to check out in less than a million.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. Andy Marshall‏ @amarsha5 Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/zWVNbFImCD

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Paul Hampson‏ @ThisLeadenPaul Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hooked on "chthonic"

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Trucc god‏ @Iamthedankmayma Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Watch your language you fricks

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Joe‏ @JoeMT0 Jun 26
        Replying to @Iamthedankmayma @TheOnion

        Watch the heckin language guys c'mon

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. ltcolinsane‏ @ltcinsane Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @KBSpangler bah scaredy cat ! Coconut Crabs are where the fun is :Ppic.twitter.com/oLpWAC7gh2

        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. 2 more replies
      1. New conversation
      2. Charina Bottae‏ @RubberBoas Jun 26
        Replying to @oofowie_my_skin @TheOnion

        Lol oblivion reference?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. the empathic narcissist.‏ @SeauxAppalled Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Imagine swimming in the beach and you plant your feet on one of these things. then it moves...oh the night mares of my childhood.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. ltcolinsane‏ @ltcinsane Jun 26
        Replying to @SeauxAppalled @TheOnion

        i planted my foot on a sting ray when i was coming back from swimming one time ... jumped 10 feet in the air when it moved and was understandably disgruntled.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Southpaw‏ @josebrasher Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Same @Patric_Brasher @lizbrasher

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Kerrick Wood‏ @KerrickWood Jun 26
        Replying to @chrisleon27 @TheOnion

        Are you a horseshoe crab enthusiast or something?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Mel‏ @Ready2blowup Jun 26
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Looks like a Tim and Eric skit. Lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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