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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion Jun 22

    Report: Snoring May Increase Risk Of Having Throat Slit During Night By Loved One https://trib.al/334gyrP pic.twitter.com/cFVMwf5wzj

    7:52 PM - 22 Jun 2018
    • 806 Retweets
    • 3,501 Likes
    • Танюша Коваленко Erika Mohos Gabe DiFrancesco Tarmo N.a Rabenold 🏳️‍🌈🎃👻 Jari ChokeMeUber Samantha Ian Russell
    60 replies 806 retweets 3,501 likes
      1. TheLoadedToad‏ @AltoidsAndAids Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good thing I don't have a loved one, that requires actual social interaction

        0 replies 1 retweet 34 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. WolveinSoCal‏ @jzanier468 Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion @WendyMichele48

        Touché.

        1 reply 2 retweets 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Iyana‏ @oatmealzaddy Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Nicolexox98 bless you for rting this onto my timeline this headline is perfect it’s the truest truth

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
      3. Nicole Spooky‏ @Nicolexox98 Jun 22
        Replying to @oatmealzaddy @TheOnion

        Anything for you babe

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Brenda Coto‏ @Bcoat27 Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Or at least some black eyes! @MeganWinters28 @CindyTincher1 @krbwalker

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Megan Winters‏ @MeganWinters28 Jun 22
        Replying to @Bcoat27 @TheOnion and

        pic.twitter.com/fKs8SD9u17

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Carly Schindler‏ @carschindler Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @hnattybraps shit you better watch out dude

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Brian Hnat‏ @hnattybraps Jun 22
        Replying to @carschindler @TheOnion

        It’s easier being single anyway 🤪

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Kyle‏ @kdlaxin6 Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @krose2442

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. filet mignon‏ @JIee943 Jun 22
        Replying to @kdlaxin6 @TheOnion @krose2442

        @pbramlett

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Megan Gygax‏ @MGygax Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @coachaisleseat

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. BettaPonic‏ @BettaPonic Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Come on don't murder your spouse in their sleep. We're a civilized society. Poison them.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Marybeth Horn‏ @MarybethHorn6 Jun 23
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Best protection is a C-PAC.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. The Irish Chupacabra‏ @feisdad89 Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Truth.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. John Fischer‏ @Yinzer_man Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is that Ethan Klein?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Sprinkles the loser 🥛‏ @Shepherds_Stuff Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Can’t get my throat slit if I’m staying up playing half life 2

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Ellen Emopi‏ @Utah_Geo Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yuck what a gross tweet

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Ron Powell‏ @bashead Jun 22
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @oldbinders Sorry!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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